this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world 26 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is a man desperate for attention. Now many times when I'm shaving off the winter beard ... I'll end it with the Hitler stache to freAk out the wife..... However it does not leave the house. Why? Because I'd hate to be judged incorrectly by people as an asshole. This guy though? He is begging people to judge because he needs the acknowledgement and attention. Creep.

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you guys have wives. so he's just like you but without a wife, he has to show us instead.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

we are all his wife awww 🥰

[–] Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Yuck 🤮 I want a refund

[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He'd do the haircut too if he could grow any on top.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He'd probably goose step straight into Poland if he had the stamina

[–] buttnugget@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

I love both of these comments so much!

[–] TuffNutzes@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Truth in advertising!

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago

Looks like it's time to play stoke or meth?

[–] the_tab_key@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Michael Jordan stache

[–] PedroMaldonado@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Kinda sucks how this how this crazy MFer is still getting ink...

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Remember when he cried on camera? Loved that.

[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Honestly it looks like an improvement but probably any beard would.

What would help more is him stopping drinking and having a discernable neck again.

So much for beauty tips for Alex Jones

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 6 days ago

I can just say he fucking dumb Alexie Jonsie looks like with his dumb lil moustache.

[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 299 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I've never supported Hitler

Guy wearing a Hitler 'stache as a "social experiment."

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 120 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"We're all trying to find the guy who supports Hitler"

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"You literally have a Hitler mustache!"

"So does that guy!" points at Charlie Chaplain

"No I do-Oh no..."

[–] imsufferableninja@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I read somewhere that Hitler grew a "Charlie Chaplin" mustache because he was a big fan

[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 55 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It was called the Chaplin before Hitler grew one. Hitler grew it to help soften his public image. He was known to be a big fan of American movies. And had them imported during WWII for private screenings, even though it was illegal in the rest of Nazi Germany.

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[–] PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 274 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (19 children)

He's just trolling, he needs to sustain attention which translates to income, now that it's waning and he looks like a loser. What else is he supposed to do -- get an HVAC license? Work at an Apple store? His options are limited.

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 103 points 1 week ago (2 children)

100% this.

It's such a well established business model now.

Stimulate outrage amongst sane normal people. Free publicity. Engage with assholes who will buy your snake oil.

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 140 points 1 week ago (7 children)

We're tired of Democrats calling white men Hitler

says white man intentionally making himself look like Hitler.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 58 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You know he wanted to add "like it's a bad thing" to the end of that sentence.

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[–] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 113 points 1 week ago (2 children)

'It had a wild effect on women'

They used to be disgusted by me when I talked to them, but now they are disgusted by me the moment they see me.

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[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 84 points 1 week ago (12 children)

What mother fucking year is it?!?!?

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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 82 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 80 points 1 week ago (3 children)

EVERYBODY LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!

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[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 77 points 1 week ago
[–] DreamAccountant@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Alex Jones: "Nazis? That's just wrong terminology that the left uses to accuse everyone they don't like of being a nazi! Because they're the haters!"

Grows Hitler mustache.

Alex Hitler: "It's a (nationalist) social experiment! If you call me a nazi, then you're the real nazi!"

For fuck's sake. Why do I still meet people that think they could possibly not be nazis? You're not sure? Really?

They're not time travelers from 1940. They're modern nazis, and this is what they do. He's just another nazi propagandist like limbaugh and kirk, except he's got a fucking HITLER mustache!!!

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 66 points 1 week ago

'It had a wild effect on women'

I suppose "revulsion" counts as a wild effect.

[–] gary@piefed.world 56 points 1 week ago

I wish this was an Onion article 🤦

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 54 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This is all dog with whistle on top.

It's the same thing as the Elon Nazi salute or speech Stephen Miller just gave echoing Goebbels.

It's explicitly showing support for Nazis with a thin veil of "no u" on top for those who will take an excuse.

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[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (11 children)

the only person i've ever seen actually look good with that 'stache is charlie chaplin. the only acceptable use of the toothbrush mustache is in a silent comedy film with a wacky guy sporting a tophat and cane.

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Omg the desperation. What a cringy simp. PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!1!

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[–] RaoulDuke@piefed.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Hitler would have thrown him in the gas chambers to strengthen the gene pool.

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[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm still pissed that info wars is not the onion. And now he's trying to rock hitler? The fuck.

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[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

How is he even allowed to have a show when he owes that much money?

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[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I laughed my ass off at first sight of his pic in the thumbnail image. Wow, is this rock bottom? Are we there yet?

The stupidity has never been more off the charts in my lifetime.

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[–] dildobaggins69@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago

If you think about the real reaction from the average woman in the street seeing a middle aged angry looking white guy wearing a Hitler moustache unironically is likely to be fear and alarm.

Now what Jones is saying is he thinks women are "melting" and "going wild" for him.

Therefore the conclusion that must be drawn is Alex Jones is so broken he thinks fear and disgust from women are signs of horniness.

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