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I don't consider myself depressed necessarily, just sometimes I have an overwhelmingly crippling sense of ennui. (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by yokonzo@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world

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Let me preface this with, yes, I probably am depressive, I have been diagnosed with depression when I was very young and while things have been okay since then, it's probably important to recognize that. I consider myself in a very good state of mind in my life at this moment.

So what do I mean? Well, I don't feel like I'm depressed, not the way that I understand depression. I do however have these very intense moments of ennui; dissatisfaction from lack of interest. This is basically I find life very unfulfilling because I don't see much point in anything, things don't seem fun. This isn't my normal state, but certain triggers will intensely put me in this state of mind for an hour or more.

I also have episodes where I feel very melancholic for a certain vibe, there's a certain type of music where if I listen to it, I get very very sad because I imagine a life I used to want to live but never was able, even though I'm only 29. My girlfriend says I should stop listening to this music but it's a very bittersweet feeling for me and I get enjoyment out of this specific flavor of sadness.

Sometimes these states are influenced by stress, other times by boredom. They almost always only last an hour and cause me no real concern. I don't really know what to think of them, I think the only reason I'm mentioning it is I feel introspective. What do you guys think?

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[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Losing interest in things is a absolutely a symptom of depression.

You will find it listed on any trusted source about depression.

The assessment questionnaire my doc gives me every visit includes a question about this.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

This symptom has a name.

anhedonia

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sounds like you're describing depression.

Also, you're only 29 please don't let your music taste halt now. There's great stuff being released right now and it's healthy to pepper that in. Be careful or you'll be listening to nothing but these tracks/albums for the rest of your life. Especially if it's affecting your relationship.

Do you think there's a little imposter syndrome going on?