submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
 

I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn't even looking up. He said "I haven't seen you here before. " I said I wasn't really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.

Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I've gotten and interesting discussion.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 6 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Maybe it's a cultural thing? Apparently America is unusually friendly compared to the rest of the world, and striking up conversations with strangers is pretty normal.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago

    America is huge huge, there are several different norms across the country. The people who live in the Southern states have a wildly different approach than people who live in the Pacific Northwest, for example.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    Yeah, I've met Americans who somehow manage to do that. As a European, it never happened to me and if I think about doing it myself it just seems creepy and weird.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    That's probably it then. I'd say it feels weirder in America if you're completely shut off to random small talk. It varies a bit by region, and certainly by individual, but I've never been anywhere in America where it's strange to strike up a conversation standing in line or waiting for a bus or something.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago*

    I've been to the famously rude Boston area as a European, and I found the people waay to chatty and friendly. I'm buying groceries, for fuck's sake, don't ask me how I am doing!

    Yeah, it's cultural. I tend to joke that if someone smiles at me in public here, I'm discreetly checking where my wallet and phone are and which direction I should best run away to.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago

    unusually friendly

    It's more how we define being polite in social situations. In much of the world it's considered rude to intrude on other people's time uninvited. I think the term is "negative politeness". How one feels about that is the cultural difference.

  • source
  • parent