I get one of the most information-stealing, asks too-many-privileges apps on my phone

Ford's app doesn't actually require ANY permissions other than network access to do what you said. It doesn't even require Nearby Devices to lock/unlock the car, nor start climate, set departure times, etc. Their app is actually pretty non-intrusive.

...this is thanks to the fact that the car's onboard modem is so "cloud connected" instead, so it's even more difficult to avoid telemetries! So cool, right?

This is also why I will always make sure I have a physical keyfob if I'm ever driving a Ford somewhere. It has happened way too often that when Google Cloud has problems, Ford's "keyless entry" goes down.