This all assumed I have more spare time than I do. I am in the EU. This problematic phone should not be a problem that I have to invest time into resolving when it did not work from the very first use. This should be the simplest of support cases; return the phone for replacement or reimbursement.
The problem has not been resolved and the phone sits unused in its packaging in my desk drawer.
I have instead learnt to repair my current phone (which was itself a very rewarding and remarkably simple process, which is my new plan for reducing my electronic waste) and am still awaiting a response from fairphone after multiple follow up emails informing them of my disappointment and not one reply from a human.