this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 67 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I don't sext because I can't jerk off and write a cohesive sentence at the same time.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 100 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I could type with one hand before I switched to dvorak.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's not the typing that's the issue. It's the lack of blood going to the brain.

[–] Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

How to say you've got a big schlong without saying you've got a giant schlong /j

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This used to be me. Eventually I figured out one handed with the unlabeled keys but it took years. Congrats on the happy tendons.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Yeah, I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Harakiri Rock.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The one day I work from the office, and you all are going to make me literally LOL.

Seriously 🤣

[–] CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I have no fucking idea what this means, so I will take offense and assume it's a movie quote. GOOD DAY!!

[–] Beardsley@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

More of a bloodflow-to-the-brain issue

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago

I just txt to speech directly from my little head. But it never surprises me because I already know what he's thinking.

[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I'm going to puck door mushy so hard where did the tissue go"

[–] Beardsley@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Fuck yes, that's so hot..

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago

Git gud, scrub.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago

Yum last Newport at of.

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Your sentences don't stick together?