So I'm pathetically single but really relieved to know I'm not the only one like this.

I take forever to finish masturbating because I keep having to stop and look stuff up on Wikipedia, add things to to-do list, reply to texts, go pee, get a drink of water, finish doing whatever the fuck distracted me when I went into the bathroom/kitchen...

I have contemplated consuming non-pornographic media at the same time as masturbating because somehow my dumpster fire of a brain is that much of a dopamine black hole that literal orgasms just aren't enough. I haven't actually done it yet because the idea of flickin the bean to, say, cooking shows on YouTube sounds just slightly too weird for me.

But I wouldn't put it past future me. I'll probably end up with a fetish for watching women cook pasta.