I have to actively keep myself focussed on sex by fantasizing some scene or story to myself. Just actually having sex isn't enough, not because I'm not into it or not enjoying it. It's just that if I don't fill my mind with something sexy it's going to get full with chores, or dinner options, or the way the bed squeaks... And then I'm completely out the moment.

This is actually something I've learned more recently, especially with women, is pretty common. Reaching orgasm during sex often requires a lot of focus on feelings (physical, mental/emotional) and being present - ADHD brains can struggle staying present which then leads to less orgasm frequency during sex. I personally have had issues with this and have had partners with similar experiences - the best way I was able to help them was to be very vocal and engaging to keep them with me in the moment (talking in their ear, asking questions, etc) . One of my friends recently noticed that she's enjoying intimacy far more now that's she's being treated for her ADHD.

So I'm pathetically single but really relieved to know I'm not the only one like this.

I take forever to finish masturbating because I keep having to stop and look stuff up on Wikipedia, add things to to-do list, reply to texts, go pee, get a drink of water, finish doing whatever the fuck distracted me when I went into the bathroom/kitchen...

I have contemplated consuming non-pornographic media at the same time as masturbating because somehow my dumpster fire of a brain is that much of a dopamine black hole that literal orgasms just aren't enough. I haven't actually done it yet because the idea of flickin the bean to, say, cooking shows on YouTube sounds just slightly too weird for me.

But I wouldn't put it past future me. I'll probably end up with a fetish for watching women cook pasta.

lurking for other's responses...

YES AND I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME! Im fact there's a joke about this on my friend circle. One time I was thinking about the word "recapitulate" and if the word "capitulate" has/would have some useful meaning. While I was receiving a blowjob.

A friend still has my name as Capitulate on his phone

Also, I like to talk while having sex, which my gf finds weird :(

I have heard about people with ADHD getting bored midway through

yes it's a problem. smoking weed helps me a lot to stay within my body during sex.

The only thing that ever interferes with my ability to perform is being nervous. If this is a new partner, or we are in a location that isn't completely secure, that will make it more difficult to stay in the mood.

Definitely never had laundry pop in my head during the deed.

TIL some of my asexuality comes from ADHD lol

Not really. With medications and nerves I've run the gamut from premature to fully unable to finish, and this is not something I usually have trouble with. Maybe its because I am in a BDSM couple and often my focus is already split between the physical sensations and the work needed to make a scene good for my partner. Sex is engaging enough I generally get hyperfocused rather than having intrusive chore thoughts.

Keep in mind that stimulants are going to interact with your libido in perhaps unintuitive ways. Like a lot of my experience as an ADHD'er this means a more exponential curve where a normal person would be linear. Meaning I take a while to warm up to a situation but I end up having more fun by the end compared to a normal person. Stimulants seem to add more bumps and valleys to this curve in my experience. Also a lot of adhd'rs end up on SSRI medication as well which can dull sex drive. I have found that THC works to counteract these effects

I don't have ADHD - but as I've heard commonly expressed by women... Stress about unfulfilled tasks makes getting and staying in a zone where sex feels possible and enjoyable so much harder. I can only assume ADHD makes trying to refocus on the moment extra challenging.

I don't have ADHD but I've had sex with a few who do. Unfortunetely it's difficult for me as well because the other person doesn't seem to be into it, or as someone else mentioned, they're fantasizing about something/someone else. I'm not saying this to make ADHDers self consious. It's just other other perspective. It can be a challenge for everyone involved.

I have never been distracted from sexy time, definitely one of the things I can hyperfixate on. Sometimes I try to distract myself to avoid cumming by thinking about something else, and that is difficult to maintain for very long before my mind drifts back. The few times I've gone soft was because the other person lost interest partway through and the mood was lost.

I also have a very high sex drive so can easily imagine getting distracted if that drive wasn't as strong.

At least you remember to do the sexual things. Sometimes I forget that the concept exists and months go by until suddenly I remember "when last time I masturbated?”.

When I have sex I'm always thinking bout the pavement so i can avoid premature ejaculation. I got up remembering to thank him better things to do so i start drinkiiiinnng.

I've always had trouble getting to the end. It requires great concentration and a partner who is willing to be still. It took me four years from the first time I had sex until I was able to cum.

Sum ~ yes. Cum as u 3 !

Yes. Impotence can be a symptom. But ADHD is a very broad spectrum with no single underlying cause.