I see. No wonder it feels jank then. I'd heard about the pacifism thing before playing it for the first time and so not only did I expect the game to not be so combat-heavy, I didn't know there was some thing where you can't fully be one the first time anyway?
There’s something to be said about how subversive things lose their appeal when they become so popular that they lose their subversiveness.
From the sound of it, because I knew some things about it going in (apparently too much), it became annoying in part because it doesn't expect me to know things and beeline right past its subversive ploys to try to get the "best ending".
So I'm essentially playing the game "wrong" because I didn't treat it like it's a typical "fight and level up" video game. It sure sounds like the designer did not account for a person doing that and instead designed on the basis that the player would necessarily treat it like a "normal" game.