this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
127 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

39744 readers
3962 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

Are you looking for volunteers?

[–] RedSeries@lemmy.blahaj.zone 84 points 5 days ago (3 children)

He struggles with ramps and walking unassisted. He's an elderly man with dementia. I'm pretty sure a gentle push or some uneven ground could end him.

Republicans are so weak!

[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Say what you will but he has factors in his favor: weight class, doughiness, and (absorbent) padding around the groin to prevent cheap shots.

There are no higher order thinking processes running in that brain either, just pure animalistic id. A concussion-inducing blow doesn’t make any difference if those brain cells were already dead.

[–] Cheesus@lemmy.ca 17 points 5 days ago

I mean, yeah, but he's never lifted a finger in his life.

I'm pretty sure the average adult (male or female) could whoop his ass.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago

I was at the atm earlier today and I was waiting in line. It was taking forever and finally I looked up. It was the tiniest old lady and she was struggling. Y'all know me, of course I intruded and asked her if she needed help. She asked if I could help check her balance. Well, she fell right over.

[–] silence7@slrpnk.net 8 points 5 days ago

It's hard to beat up an octogenarian when you're a nonagenarian

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I... don't really know what to think about the 33% of Republicans. Are they unusually self-defeatist? Or do they actually think that this frail old man is really a tough mother fucker?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

It's the latter

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 9 points 4 days ago

MAGAs are cowards at their core, afraid of EVERYTHING, and they always vote for a tough guy to protect them. He doesn't really have to be a tough guy, they can be weak-ass loser like Bush or Trump, but the MAGAs are such simpering cowards that they think that's what a tough guy looks and sounds like.

Meanwhile, EVERYBODY else knows he would go down hard with the first punch, tuck into the fetal position and cry. When he goes down, kick him in the ass real hard. Make him blurt out a pathetic painful yelp.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

Dude has never lifted anything heavy in his life. He's never once taken a punch. He's soft like 10-ply. I'd be delighted to demonstrate.

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

I’m a petite woman and I feel like as long as he wasn’t able to sit on me/fall on me if absolutely be able to, I would like to request a cane however so I could whoop him founding fathers style

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 29 points 5 days ago (10 children)

I’m weak as shit and I could kick his ass. I’m not even the kind of guy that would say something like this but fuck it, this guy fucking sucks.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I'm 5ft . 40. Not at my peak. But I have a low center of gravity and American thighs that can crush a watermelon.

I'm in. Let's tag team.

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Kick them in the knee and a hit to the larynx should be enough to get them in a spot you need :)

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] FanciestPants@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Mitch McConnel could beat Trump in a physical fight, and really should.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Epstein's best friend should not be allowed in the same room as 8 year olds

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What if we give the 8 year old a knife and no rules against using it if needed

Well if orangeboi is in the room with a kid, the kid needs it.

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What age child do you think makes it a 50/50 fight?

Maybe 10?

[–] Snazz@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Is the eight-year-old bloodlusted?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tooks@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

83% of commonly used household items could defeat this man. Versus a motion activated trash can? Fucker ain't got a chance.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 27 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Sneeze on him from behind and he'll faceplant.

[–] silence7@slrpnk.net 30 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Apparently the average Republican has seen so many muscle-man AI images of Trump that they think they're incapable of even that

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 12 points 5 days ago

I mean the ~~high heels~~ bone spurs alone have tripped him up several times, publicly. One hay-fever sneeze would be devastating.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Just let him punch you, he won't be able to recover from that.

Be careful not to let him punch too hard, or he may die.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 4 days ago

Jake Paul enjoys boxing matches with elderly celebrities

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago

So 66% of Republicans are fucking cowards. Not that we didn't know that already.

MAGA is My Absolutely Gigantic Amygdala after all.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 10 points 4 days ago

I do not want to be anywhere near the guy so not really no.

[–] stretch2m@infosec.pub 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

We could eliminate the national debt by charging people money for a crack at him.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

After 1 to 2 people, it would just be a version of Slap Dead Hitler

LWTwJO S02E28 artist's impression of Slap Dead Hitler

(rumored 1945 carnival attraction featuring a mannequin), more gruesome by the hour. I wonder how Stalin's preserved remains would fare in the oxygen-rich atmosphere, receiving thousands of slaps each day.

100% of Americans popping off a brisk fart could beat Donald Trump in a fight. The breeze would knock him over, and he wouldn't be able to get back up. A fence would be erected around him ... it could even have his name on it! And he could watch all the people just walk on by, mystified as to why nobody was helping him.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 days ago

The man can't drink water

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

If you can walk all the way around a block you can defeat this man via cardio and never throw a punch.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I would tear through that geriatric fucking piece of shit like he was made of tissue paper. He's basicslly a real life Montgomery Burns.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Yes, with both arms zip tied together behind my back. I’m sure I could.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Do I get any weapons?

Not that I'd need them ... that would just make it more fun. Plus, maybe my hands wouldn't end up stained orange. Not asking for much. A board with a nail in it would suffice.

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago

A lighter would be nice.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Anything fast and smart enough to bait him into overextending a kick could put him on the ground in a way he'd have a hard time recovering from. I've got a friend with a toddler who could be trained for it in a day or two. My 30lb dog could do it easily if he'd pay attention to the same lessons.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

I'd hold it on the Whitehouse lawn. If trump was in a normal state, I could take him. If he was in a blind ketchup rage, then I'm not so sure.

[–] Elilol@fedinsfw.app 4 points 5 days ago

I'm not American but I could take him.

I will just ignore him and he will kill himself out of pity.

ignore this

[–] AccoSpoot1@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

No thanks, I don't wanna go hand to hand with that stinky motherfucker let alone be in the same room.

load more comments
view more: next ›