Did you make the tradition high pitched "ooooh!" The first time you used it?
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
265 points (98.5% liked)
Dull Men's Club
4279 readers
132 users here now
An unofficial chapter of the popular Dull Men's Club.
1. Relevant commentary on your own dull life. Posts should be about your own dull, lived experience. This is our most important rule. Direct questions, random thoughts, comment baiting, advice seeking, many uses of "discuss" rarely comply with this rule.
2. Original, Fresh, Meaningful Content.
3. Avoid repetitive topics.
4. This is not a search engine
Use a search engine, a tradesperson, Reddit, friends, a specialist Facebook group, apps, Wikipedia, an AI chat, a reverse image search etc. to answer simple questions or identify objects. Also see rule 1, “comment baiting”.
There are a number of content specific communities with subject matter experts who can help you.
Some other communities to consider before posting:
5. Keep it dull. If it puts us to sleep, it’s on the right track. Examples of likely not dull: jokes, gross stuff (including toes), politics, religion, royalty, illness or injury, killing things for fun, or promotional content. Feel free to post these elsewhere.
6. No hate speech, sexism, or bullying No sexism, hate speech, degrading or excessively foul language, or other harmful language. No othering or dehumanizing of anyone or negativity towards any gender identity.
7. Proofread before posting. Use good grammar and punctuation. Avoid useless phrases. Some examples: - starting a post with "So" - starting a post with pointless phrases, like "I hope this is allowed" or “this is my first post” Only share good quality, cropped images. Do not share screenshots of images; share the original image.
.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
the warm water is the only necessity. I've used those cold water bidets at midnight in winter in Minnesota. The shriek woke up the entire damn hostel.
Ahhhhh. Living somewhere with relatively mild winters, I've never had any desire to upgrade from my entry level, super basic, cold water only bidet.
I live in a frozen tundra wasteland and I have a cold-only and have never thought “I wish this was warm”
…but then again, I keep my house 70°F-75°F year round. By the time I come in and poo, I’m a comfy temp.
My only toilet-attach-bidet complaint is that it really relies on the water pressure at your house. My house is blessed with Super Soaker CPS 2000 bathroom water pressure, but my best friend’s bidet is like one of those clear water pistols where you fill with water from the back of the handle. I want my bits pressure-washed!
Next bit of warm weather we get, I'm seriously considering putting my travel bidet in the fridge.
Yep. And you need the seat warmer and warm air dry too.
Source: Live in northern Minnesota. It be COLD in the winter here.
load more comments
(5 replies)
OP is right on the money.
I had read plenty of stuff about bidets but it always seemed weird to have a machine shoot water up my ass. Then I bought a house that came with a nice one. I was converted almost instantly.
Now traveling sucks because no hotels or public bathrooms have them, and there's nothing quite like the feeling of being actually clean.
I'm sure that if they could, the bald eagles would thank you.
I installed one 3 or 4 years ago. I went with the nozzle on a hose type.
Congrats on the clean starfish.
I laughed way too hard at this!!!
I bought a 35€ one that is just a jet of cold water you have to aim yourself. I don't find the coldness to be an issue at all. And now I essentially don't need to wipe anymore.
Why am I reminded of this….
Whenever I travel now it suuuuucks. I bring baby wipes (and don’t flush them), but nothing can match my geyser throne.
Just bring a portable bidet! Essentially just a water bottle with a nozzle on it. Works well and fits in my backpack easily.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I also warn people all the time about bidets: You instantly and irreversibly get ~~addicted~~ hooked after first use.
Yard sprinklers are the poor man’s bidet in Alabama. Just make sure nobody’s home when you do it 😂
I don't think I can ever go back to not having one
Don’t leave us in the dark! What model did you get?!
This one
WATER DOES IT BETTER.
Soooo close to “BEPIS”…
load more comments
(1 replies)
so jelly. I have wanted one forever. what did you end up getting? When I was doing better I was intent on doing it but sorta had decision paralysis.
LuxeBidet is the model I got.
Totally entry level, hooks up to the water supply to the toilet tank. No heat or special features, stupid easy to install. Price around $50.
To my mind, no need to go more expensive until you know more what you might want.
I do have an aunt and uncle who got an expensive toilet bidet unit with heated seat and all the features... after having tried my bidet while visiting.
Plus with the cheap unit you get the bonus of hearing the startled yelps of your uninitiated guests as cold water hits their asshole for the first time.
The fancy models with air-drying are bad, it takes ages when you can just dab your butt/bits dry. Warm water is also a take-it-or-leave-it for me, but lots of people really like that.
Heated seat, though—THAT is a nice feature. It squicked me out right away because I always hated sitting on toilet seats that were still warm from other butts when u was young, but I got over that and now I’d love to have a seat warmer…
I installed luxebidets during covid. Still working great. My wife and I both work in hospitals and didn't have time to fight the crowd for TP.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Dude I got a cheap $40 or $50 one from Amazon years ago that just sprays cold water and it's glorious. It doesn't matter which one you get, you just gotta get that water on your butt hole!
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Nothing like a sparkling clean asshole you could eat off of.
Worthy upgrade. There's some good YouTube comparisons too. I'm kinda surprised that Lowes and HD don't carry more brands in stock, seems mine an untapped part of the market.
Lowe's and HD suck ass, and not in the good way
HD guys in aprons very rarely do the courtesy of a reach around. Shout out to Barry at the paint counter.
I got mine from Costco. Was like $99. Worth every penny!
Which one?! I didn't know they sold bidets!
Let me get rid of all those other trackers for you
https://www.costco.ca/p/-/brondell-swash-cl99-non-electric-bidet-toilet-seat/100595924
I miss having a bidet so much. You don't know what youre missing until you do
but it's got warm water
A person of high standards! A fine luxury indeed!
What an interesting coincidence to run into that I'm currently sitting on my Brondell bidet while I write this comment.
Good choice. I've been using mine for much longer and have converted a few visitors as well.
Now, for maximum comfort during the evacuation process, the next step is a full squat platform (lilipad good, squatty potty bad). The advantages of the platform are subtle but measurable. Ideally you want one that sits below the knobs of the bidet, so it is more likely you'll want to DIY.
Why is squatty potty bad? I only know them from their ads in youtube
Posture is wrong for what a person would be doing normally evolutionarily. You can't put your weight on something that far forward and down since you'll roll backwards and the closer foot position drives your knees into your chest instead of under your arms.
I wasn't targeting squatty potty specifically, you could use an upside down trashcan to get the same effect as one of those. Two inverted 3 gallon buckets on each side of the bowl with a board bolted between them would be like the lilipad.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Seems weird.
I've never seen an actual bidet, but these bidet showers are in literally every toilet in Finland, including gas station public bathrooms.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet_shower
bidet shower (also known as a handheld bidet, commode shower, toilet shower, health faucet, bum shower, bidet spray, jet spray, hand shower, shaṭafa (from the Arabic: شَطَّافَة [ʃɑtˤˈtˤɑːfɑ], "hand shower rinser"), Muslim shower (common in Pakistan) or bum gun), pillupuhelin (from Finnish pillu, "vagina" and puhelin, "telephone") is a hand-held triggered nozzle that is placed near the toilet and delivers a spray of water used for anal cleansing and cleaning of the genitals after using the toilet for defecation and urination. The device is similar to that of a kitchen sink sprayer.
view more: next ›