Flipping on the TV

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous is on

Donald Trump is talking about how he hopes his daughter is as fuckable as his second wife

"Mr. President!"

Nah dubstep

Naw, he'd play something more incomprehesible to the 90s, like skrillex or the later evolutions of the genre.

I feel like he'd start talking in brain rot and be like, "Your kids are gonna love it."

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘99… wear… sunscreen.”

Daft! Daft! It’s Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Punk?

Daft Punk were already around in 95 though

If back to the future was released today more than 1/3 of the population would root for biff and would say that the movie is “too political” and “woke propaganda”.

That was half the joke of the original movie. Biff got super rich off cheating at sports gambling and was rewarded for his sudden financial success with political authority, because the writers of the movie knew that's how Americans respond to anyone who appears to be financially successful practically overnight.

Biff was a critique of the people who elected Ronald Reagan. People who were saying exactly the same fascist shit as MAGA Trumpies today.

Then again, being OK with child rape by that same group of people wasn’t something I would have expected even 10 years ago…

You must have slept through the whole Catholic Sex Abuse moment. The sex-crimes apologists were crawling out of the woodwork. Guys like Ross Douthat made their first nut trying to defend the indefensible. Half of the Peggy Noonan columns were just her whining about anti-Catholic bias every time another child-rape story broke. JD Vance made his Catholic Turn right in the middle of the scandal, seemingly to suck up to the rich Catholic fuckwits gullible enough to believe he was going to protect them.

Before that, you had the string of scandals at the Texas Youth Corrections office. And the Abramoff Scandal, which had an often-undercovered element of child sex trafficking in the Marianas Islands. And, of course, Epstein himself got off with multiple slaps on the wrist across multiple administrations, thanks to his DC (and Mossad) connections. All these people and institutions retained conservative support in the face of a deluge of accusations and a torrent of new victims coming forward.

The original director and screenwriter aren't allowing anyone to do a remake, so I guess we are safe as long as they are alive.

https://consequence.net/2025/07/back-to-the-future-why-no-remake-sequels/

Joe Biden was born closer to the inauguration of Abraham Lincoln than to his own.

"Does everyone wear hats in the future? Did the ozone hole get bigger?"

Dad crawls out from under the desk

“Hey hey hey, now we can surf the World Wide Web!”

Marty: “Hey I’ve seen this funny image before.”

Kid: “How have you seen it before? It just got posted.”

Marty: “Yeah, it’s a… repost.”

Kid: “What’s a repost?”

I guess you guys aren't ready for that . . . but to your kids, it's gonna be a hot one

Doc breathes you made a TIME machine catches breath out of a CyberTruck?

Einstein explodes

In 1998, my father sent me to school with a pager you could leave voice messages on. My friends were amazed how advanced it was.

1995-2005 was all about Chatrooms (AOL, IRC, AIM) and early social media. 2015-2026 is all about Chatrooms and social media being taken over by corporate interests, state actors, and political public opinion manipulation all posing as the AOL, IRC, AIM era.

Based on the stainless steel body requirements, I know the answer and I don’t like it.