Same here. It's still occasionally a problem, someone will be phoning while we're hanging out. But generally we're all in tune with each other.

The problem I've been having lately, is my SO wanting to text every new exciting thing we do or buy, to our friends. I'm trying to be balanced about it, but I prefer to have fun stories to tell in person. Or have a new purchase be a surprise for the group when I bring it out.

I'm not anti phone, I text too, and tell people stuff before I see them. So again, I'm trying to be balanced, so I don't make a big fuss. It's just on my mind.

Edit: for reference from the other commenter, I'm definitely not over 60. Much younger. Though not a youth.

Phones are a great distraction when you're in a liminal space with nothing interesting going on.

But parties tend to be the opposite of that. The only reason someone looks at their phone is if they're trying to avoid the party. And why even show, in that case?

My town had a bowling ball factory and on winter nights when the river was frozen we would steal reject balls and throw them off the bridge downtown. They made a truly incredible noise when they hit the ice.

You can still do that now.

Source: I am appalling at keeping in touch with people I don't directly see face-to-face.

Sure. That too. But honestly that's a tradeoff I'd be willing to do in a heartbeat.

Are the parties young people have nowadays just less wild because everyone has cameras?

I believe so.

Is this why Gen Z thinks hedonism is cringe?

I think part of it might be the (reasonable) fear of being caught and it haunting you forever increasing overthinking. But I think the main reason is excessive access to everything online desensitizing and removing the enicing part of exploring 'taboo' stuff. Under that aspect I think, the internet as we have it today has also just reduced curiocity overall.

I think a more significant part though is that sex, drugs and the like are just not that taboo anymore. You are not hooking up as an act of rebelion against your parents if your parents lived hookup culture and are open about it.

And a lot of us are just more lonely/less social which loops back to the original post I guess.

Well, one could argue that not doing things that push the boundaries of your comfort zone is why echo chambers exist, whereas meeting people you don’t know and interacting with them is how you make new friends and potentially grow as a person.

I’m not saying you’re wrong for not wanting to do that, or even that you should want to do that, but that would be the point of it.

And for the record, parties that happen in movies aren’t really representative of what actual parties were commonly like, at least in my experience. The most wrecked that I’ve ever seen a house get after a party was needing to clean or pick up some trash. The way you keep the weight off of your conscience is to help the host clean up the next day, like a decent human being.

(I can’t afford a lawn, but get off of my dirt lot!)

"Nobody looked at their phones during a party in 1999"

Holds up picture of a LAN Party

That sucks. How come? Hell I'll drink with you right now. No phono.

Right? Jesus is this what our parents felt like when the Internet came? Poor bastards, I pity them still.

Had some friends over the other night. Busted out my vintage copy of catchphrase, the one with the paper disc. We had a blast with that thing, hours worth. Good times.

Only when the road construction crew gets too drunk and starts playing around with the steam roller! 😁

There was no way to coordinate, so you'd talk in school on Thursday and decide about meeting up in so and so's house whose parents were away on Saturday and it would just spread like through some weird subcommunications channel and people would show up and you never knew what to expect because nobody was sure who would show up or when or if...

Then if you were like a couple of lads or gals short someone would be like "I know this dude at so and so adress let's go there!"...

It was spontaneous. I don't think spontaneity has changed much in humans over the past two decades, just the form of it, or perhaps the constraints within which it operates.

It feels less important now, less like an adventure.

Now bring me my defibrillator will you?

I'm a way it's easier to disconnect because you don't have a phone attached to the wall that you can hear ring from any room.

But there is an expectation of being immediately available so when you're not, people freak out.

Easily solved by social compact, box (or more fun, jenga tower) on a table, phones go in box. First person to remove phone from box for reasons other than poop break (I'm not a monster) or leaving owes the group something, even if it's just a little dance.

It's helped myself and most of the people I have done it with to truly understand how much we are actually addicted/dependant to the little electric serotonin dispensers.

YMMV on getting others to agree 😅