I think half of the "passing" thing is that I want to look femme to me, for me. The other half is safety. Too many people getting attacked when using public restrooms or just walking down the street. I'm avoiding going back to my hometown because it's likely unsafe for me there until I am "passing".

Anyway, I totally get the sentiment that you shouldn't feel obligated by society to "pass". And I totally agree that shouldn't be a primary reason to subject yourself to the stress and risk of surgery. If only it were that simple, especially in countries like mine, the US, where things are getting more and more dangerous outside of major cities, or countries where it's just plain illegal to exist.

I'd like to add: We're here for you. We all are.

🏳️‍⚧️

Being visibly trans is revolutionary. We always carve out exceptions for people's safety, but let's be real, a whole hell of a lot if passing-obsessed trans girls are just rampantly transphobic self-hating queers who want to check out the fight the rest of us are forced to have every day. I have zero respect for that.

It’s something I’m still working on, putting less pressure on myself to pass. I try to remind myself that I do not owe people a certain type of femininity in order to earn being treated well and having my name and pronouns respected. The people who matter will respect me no matter what I sound or look like, and the people that don’t are the ones in the wrong.

Then I can just enjoy the process of developing a feminine look and style, purely because it makes me feel good and like myself, and not because I feel like I owe it to the world.

Easier said than internalized though, and I still struggle a lot, especially when it comes to voice dysphoria 🫤

Agree 100%

The world is so often unkind to us. We need to be conciously kind to ourselves in regards to our transition (and more generally of course)