Not even shit post. This is just me on an average Friday night.

A moist towelette can be useful after sex. Win win.

Condoms could arguably also be used for holding chicken wings

I'm vaccinated/drug-protected against the most dangerous STI's and have a vasectomy. I'm probably not getting laid very often at all but I'm not really worried when I do and I lack a condom.

And I don't like wings.

I carry neither.

I feel heavily identified.

And depressed.

And enlightened.

Moist owlette 🦉

Keep both. You can stuff the leftovers in the Buffalo, ranch, bleu cheese, or BBQ flavored condom and take it to go.

You can have more than one thing in your wallet...

Hawthorne or Red Dragon?

Given my medication situation, I'd rather have the wings anyway.

Based

I think it has more to do with the consequences of being unprepared than the odds of it happening at all.