exactly what it feels like when airlines list "board first" as a perk for paying twice as much

None of those dates have the year on them.

Fucking hate all of this. With payments online getting easier I’m finding it more convenient to order from small websites again and stop using Amazon. But when it comes to shipping, things are really not getting any faster or easier. While Amazon is always a day behind their promises, they are usually much faster than anyone else.

Mildly amusing. I ship UPS all the time at work, and always check all the options for the best balance of speed and cost. The number of times the cheapest option is estimated to arrive before a more expensive choice cracks me up. Not always, but way more than I'd expect.

It was probably vibe coded.

Does "Promise" mean that it's guaranteed to arrive on that day, or is it just a dumb name for a shipping company?

Let's enjoy the last few days of free delivery.

I think that this is just a shipping cost function that Shopify provides to shops. I don't think that the seller added these options. Its just showing different options that they have access to in their system. No human has looked at these options and decided that they make sense. The store probably doesn't even know.

The 2 day air is only $15 more, I think you should go for it

They're fuckken sending an ambulance

Having worked in the shipping industry the “Promise” branding everywhere is hilarious to me. Even “guaranteed” shipping doesn’t mean shit — the industry will do nothing but lead you on until the final moment when you’re truly just fucked.

Overnight shipping is expensive

Its not that the merchant is offering these prices to you. They're using another service to get shipping quotes on demand and display them to you transparently. Why they're so high, I can not explain, but it may have to do with global fuel supply and an all time high demand for shipping services.

Isn't this rather c/softwaregore?

This is like when I withdraw money from PayPal, and it's like... idk the exact wording or cost, but along the lines of

Please choose a withdrawal option.

🔘 Option 1
Usually instant.
No fee

⚪ Option 2
Takes up to a few hours.
2% processing fee

eBay's shipping options often look like this for US to Canada items. A book will be $60 shipping but a larger heavier item is $25.

I like to imagine the buyer lives next door to the warehouse, so no matter how they send it - on the back on a tortoise, or fired out of a railgun - it'll arrive same day.

Silly yes, but I've had to do this at my job before to get the "guaranteed" delivery by X date. Does it work? Sometimes

There's a shop I occasionally order from and it has three options.

• within three hours, free
• standard shipping, 3-7 days, $15
• express post, next day, $26

No idea why same day is free when they're basically sending it in an uber vs the post. It's handy though