Ask Lemmy

I'd go back and try to stop me from fucking up my life.

2007 since that's when I began properly using the internet socially. man the SHOOP DA WHOOP memes and image macro threads. fckin nostalgia!!!

Look up last week's lottery numbers, then head back to last week.

I don't wanna play the make money game anymore.

Jokes on you. You’ll be suffocating in space, bruh

I would go back about 40 years ago and stop my parents from meeting.

Assuming I could go back at some point, ancient Rome in its heyday would be a sight to see. I'd love to go sightseeing to almost any ancient civilization really. At least the ones where I wouldn't immediately get killed.

Go back where about to transition to homosepians and give ourselves a favor by eliminating every single one and give way to lizard people.

To the middle of the carboniferous to check if it is true the hypothesis of the delayed fungal evolution. Forests growing for millions of years and wood not decaying? The mountains of dead trees is something I want to see.

I'm going to 1450 and giving the natives guns before the Spaniards and the Portuguese arrive.

Without them, anglos probably won't bother either.

Assuming it's a one way trip, I'd probably go to the year 1998, Impersonate my dad, Rescue child me from some shit, Win the lottery, Stop 9/11, and then die and leave my younger self with more money and power than he could reasonably cope with.

Are are we applying butterfly effect mechanics here? If yes, the farthest I’ll probably go is the previous 24 hours to have the least impact on the things I don’t want to lose/change. Then I’ll probably bet on the lottery.

Beginning of high school, drop out, get a job, invest in Microsoft.

To the point when humanity's earliest ancestor dared leave the ocean. I'd kick it back into the sea. Civilization was a mistake.

1. Check the top meme on lemmy of all time.

2. Go back to 1 minute before they posted that and post it before they do.

3. I am now the person who posted the highest upvoted meme ever!

4. The Original OP in the original timeline would be so confused while I stand in the spotlight of GLORY! 😎

Also:

• I ask c/asklemmy questions in which the OP didn't answer their own question, right before they conceive the idea of asking that question, in order to see if they would answer their question that they originally posted in the original timeline to what they would answer. Basically use jedi-timetravel tricks to make people ask themselves questions from a different timeline.

• Register a domain of a popular sites before they get registered

I love time-trolling.

This timeline is already fucked so I really can't make it any worse, so I'd go back just to fuck with the timeline.
Take written volumes on mathmatics, science, and engineering and hand them out in Greece and Arabia a few thousand years ago and see what kind of world we end up with instead.

I'd like to witness the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ

10-cent bitcoins

I'd go back to the Precambrian era around the time of the "explosion" to see what caused it. Though I may need a space suit. Was the atmosphere habitable at that time? 🤔

I nearly killed my new lawn because I didn't water it enough.

Just go back a few days and let me water it well.

All the way back. With the knowledge that I shouldn't trust or put faith in people.

Instead of seeking out truth I would just be an average person.

I would leave home asap and not stick around a town of hate and crime.

I could think of a few historic figures I would love to see be smothered in their cradle, but I think of it's a one way trip, I'm going to get PDFs with just about everything I would ever need to know about programming in older versions of various languages, burn them to CDs, then return to the early 90s.

My hope would be, assuming I could take the CDs with me, that I could spend time becoming someone known specifically for making good quality software that helps people. Then when people on windows get attached to that software, pull the rig by saying that, maybe around the late 2000s, all my software will now be only available on Linux. I'd hope to create such high quality software, with the help of any other lunatics I could find, that nobody else can compete. A sort of VLC is the best, or at the very least probably the most used, video player around the world sort of software. Get entrenched and then force a shakeup.

Bonus points on me bringing proof I'm from the future, if I could, to ensure I could get people to believe me. Something like my soft modded 3DS. Also, bonus points if I bring CDs with PDFs for future versions of things like Python and other languages and such so we could stay ahead of the curb.

Some real techno elitist type stuff if I had to say so myself.

If I was guaranteed to end up back where I am now in my life then I'd go back to my early 20s and head off my drinking.

I put my friends and family especially through a lot and I'd undo that if I could, but not at the expense of all the positives in my life since I've been sober.