I'd go back and try to stop me from fucking up my life.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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Look up last week's lottery numbers, then head back to last week.
I don't wanna play the make money game anymore.
Clever, clever 😂
2007 since that's when I began properly using the internet socially. man the SHOOP DA WHOOP memes and image macro threads. fckin nostalgia!!!
I would go back about 40 years ago and stop my parents from meeting.
If your parents didn't meet and make you, then it is likely they would have met other people and made other people. Don't put the curse of your existence off on some other poor sap. Stand up and drink your cup.
No, I'd rather shift the responsibility. There's nothing in my cup and the cup is crumbling.
I hope your cup gets filled with some Aztec style chocolate in the near future (or modern style, or something else, whatever you like having in a cup)
I'm extremely depressed, but I'm going to give a gold star sticker for accurately knowing chocolate in its original form was consumed as a beverage.
⭐😊 ty
🙁
Assuming I could go back at some point, ancient Rome in its heyday would be a sight to see. I'd love to go sightseeing to almost any ancient civilization really. At least the ones where I wouldn't immediately get killed.
To see the original 7 wonders
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Jokes on you. You’ll be suffocating in space, bruh
To the middle of the carboniferous to check if it is true the hypothesis of the delayed fungal evolution. Forests growing for millions of years and wood not decaying? The mountains of dead trees is something I want to see.
Assuming it's a one way trip, I'd probably go to the year 1998, Impersonate my dad, Rescue child me from some shit, Win the lottery, Stop 9/11, and then die and leave my younger self with more money and power than he could reasonably cope with.
Calling a bomb threat on the plane just before takeoff. That'll really confuse things but it'll get the job done.
That's quite the plan - sounds like it could be a good movie (I feel like we already have movies like these, but can't recall any on top of my head).
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I'm going to 1450 and giving the natives guns before the Spaniards and the Portuguese arrive.
Without them, anglos probably won't bother either.
Bring books on crossbow manufacturing. It's documented that Chichimeca obsidian tipped arrows could pierce through chainmail. Most areas practicing agriculture in the Americas will either have or have access to raw materials required for the manufacturing of crossbows.
Go back where about to transition to homosepians and give ourselves a favor by eliminating every single one and give way to lizard people.
Are are we applying butterfly effect mechanics here? If yes, the farthest I’ll probably go is the previous 24 hours to have the least impact on the things I don’t want to lose/change. Then I’ll probably bet on the lottery.
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Beginning of high school, drop out, get a job, invest in Microsoft.
To the point when humanity's earliest ancestor dared leave the ocean. I'd kick it back into the sea. Civilization was a mistake.
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This timeline is already fucked so I really can't make it any worse, so I'd go back just to fuck with the timeline.
Take written volumes on mathmatics, science, and engineering and hand them out in Greece and Arabia a few thousand years ago and see what kind of world we end up with instead.
Monkey's Paw answer is the same world we have today because the books are in English and/or the math symbols were not standardized back then.
This. The modern mathematical symbols, at least in their current use, are no older than 550 years. Heck, the numerals we use are about as old as that. The Arabic world had a head start with early versions of those numerals, but even then, those are only twice as old as the oldest mathematical symbols still in use.
Prior to that, people wrote things out in words, or, as you suggest, invented their own symbologies and shorthands.
I have a book around here somewhere that shows how Diophantus wrote a particular polynomial equation and it's all Greek letters, some with macrons (overlines), some superscripts that don't mean what we'd use superscripts to mean, and one large upturned capital psi in the middle of it. Mind-boggling.
And they'd be more mystified by our notation than we are by theirs because at least we (or some of us) know what Greek letters and numerals are. They'd have no such head start.
True, but I think if the book is given to the right (group of) people, their curiosity to figure out of the book will likely lead them to it being translated rather fast.
Approved 😀
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I'd like to witness the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ
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Check the top meme on lemmy of all time.
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Go back to 1 minute before they posted that and post it before they do.
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I am now the person who posted the highest upvoted meme ever!
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The Original OP in the original timeline would be so confused while I stand in the spotlight of GLORY! 😎
Also:
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I ask c/asklemmy questions in which the OP didn't answer their own question, right before they conceive the idea of asking that question, in order to see if they would answer their question that they originally posted in the original timeline to what they would answer. Basically use jedi-timetravel tricks to make people ask themselves questions from a different timeline.
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Register a domain of a popular sites before they get registered
I love time-trolling.
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I'd go back to the Precambrian era around the time of the "explosion" to see what caused it. Though I may need a space suit. Was the atmosphere habitable at that time? 🤔
Information paradox detected. You'll somehow die and your own advanced biology will become the trigger you went there to seek.
So you going to head back to a random Wednesday and be like nope not happening yet, let's try tomorrow, nope. Maybe next week?
I have a time machine. I'll have all the time I need to figure it out.
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I nearly killed my new lawn because I didn't water it enough.
Just go back a few days and let me water it well.
10-cent bitcoins
All the way back. With the knowledge that I shouldn't trust or put faith in people.
Instead of seeking out truth I would just be an average person.
I would leave home asap and not stick around a town of hate and crime.
I could think of a few historic figures I would love to see be smothered in their cradle, but I think of it's a one way trip, I'm going to get PDFs with just about everything I would ever need to know about programming in older versions of various languages, burn them to CDs, then return to the early 90s.
My hope would be, assuming I could take the CDs with me, that I could spend time becoming someone known specifically for making good quality software that helps people. Then when people on windows get attached to that software, pull the rig by saying that, maybe around the late 2000s, all my software will now be only available on Linux. I'd hope to create such high quality software, with the help of any other lunatics I could find, that nobody else can compete. A sort of VLC is the best, or at the very least probably the most used, video player around the world sort of software. Get entrenched and then force a shakeup.
Bonus points on me bringing proof I'm from the future, if I could, to ensure I could get people to believe me. Something like my soft modded 3DS. Also, bonus points if I bring CDs with PDFs for future versions of things like Python and other languages and such so we could stay ahead of the curb.
Some real techno elitist type stuff if I had to say so myself.
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