Asklemmy

I have those nights and I hate them.

I stay in bed and at least rest the body. I found that getting on an electronic device keeps me up.

For me there is often a problem that causes to not be able to sleep, and I'll try to solve that. Like being hungry, thirsty, radiator too warm, radiator not warm enough, I have some energy I need to get out, need to close the window, need to open the window. If nothing helps I get out of bed for a while and this makes me more tired after some time. I try to avoid scrolling because it just makes the time fly by without changing the circumstances or making me sleepy.

I lay completely still. Properly, completely still. I focus all my energy on not moving a single muscle besides what I need to breathe.

Then, while doing that, I try to conjure up elaborate fantasy scenes in my mind.

9 times out of 10 I'm gone within five minutes.

Not exactly quiet but works for me because of the layout of my house.

I go to the laundry room which is on the other side of the house from the bedrooms, turn the kitchen light on, laundry room like off (so it's light enough to see but pretty dim), sit on the washer and play sad songs on my guitar.

It's therapuetic and after about 20 minutes I'm just exhausted.

I read a book. It's quiet, it's restful, it often helps me get back to sleep but even if it doesn't it's still relaxing and worthwhile.

Reading books or playing video games. If I have the energy then also working on projects.

I take a random number around 800 and start to count backwards in increments of 7. It’s kind of tedious and drowns out my other thoughts. I don’t think I’ve ever made it to zero :)

Of course you should use bigger numbers if your math skills are better.

Read or take a dose of melatonin.

I mean, I know it's entirely opposite to the accepted advice...but when I can't sleep, I actually find it helpful to go on my phone.

Scrolling social media doesn't help though. What helps is putting on long form videos on YouTube that aren't overly engaging. It helps if you've seen them before too. If my thoughts are racing, having something else to focus on (but not too focused) helps a ton.

Sitting in the dark without a mild stimulus doesn't help, despite what the common advice given seems to be.

I know you said you can't have sound, but what about headphones?

Listen to music, or watch stream vods, specifically Moist Critical's. I do remember when I was really depressed I would put on Mitch Hedberg, it would laugh me to sleep.

I try to name unconnected things until I'm interrupted by a different thought, then when I realize I've gone off I play the unconnected naming game again. Doesn't matter if there is a connection. Apparently this disorganized thinking is similar to sleep thoughts and can help get your brain in the mood for sleeping.

Example: sheep, glass, shelf, sock, alien, whisker, etc

Count from 1 to 10, then 10 to 1. With each number, relax your body a little more. When the mind strays, bring it back to counting. Repeat until unconscious.

If that isn't working at all, get up, go to another room, play soft music at low volume on headphones, and depending on the circumstances read a book, jot stuff down, or just contemplate stuff. Chill until sleepy, then either go back to bed or just curl up where you are.

I very rarely have trouble sleeping, but when I do, this is what I've always done since childhood and it hasn't failed me yet.

I lay there, with my eyes closed, resist any temptation to look at my phone or do anything else, make myself as comfortable as possible wrapped up in blankets and pillows and whatever

And I just kind of direct my mind towards something pointless and let it wander down that rabbit hole

Maybe I'll imagine sort of a bunch of swirling lights and colors and just kind of watch them, look for patterns, etc.

Or I'll make up stories. I'm no author, but I'll imagine myself as maybe a super hero, or an astronaut, or a wizard, or any of those sort of stock characters, and I imagine myself saving the world, or fighting a dragon, or boldly going where no man has gone before. These stories I'm making up aren't deep, they're a crappy universe full of plot holes and the kinds of characters an elementary schooler playing make-believe would come up with, because of course the superhero I'm imagining myself as can fly and has heat vision and wolverine claws and can turn invisible and has super strength and...

Or I just kind of think about simple things I enjoy. Places I could go hiking with my dog, date nights with my wife, meals I'd like to cook for friends, etc.

Whatever it is, I just kind of let my mind wander down that road, it takes my mind off of whatever was keeping me awake, and after I while my focus begins to falter and I just sort of slip into sleep from there.

I'm pretty sure this kind of falls under the category of some kind of meditation. My work once did a mandatory "wellness retreat" as a "training" thing I had to go to. One of the things we did was a guided meditation session, and that felt like the same sort of thing (but for people who are boring and lack the imagination to think of a scenario to meditate on by themselves, imagining myself flying an x-wing through an asteroid field beats the pants off of imagining I'm walking through a meadow to the beach or whatever that lady was having us imagine)

Sometimes a little background noise is helpful. I'm not personally too picky about what it is, I like trip hop music for this purpose, or forest sounds, or just random YouTube videos (not even necessarily anything relaxing, I've fallen asleep to some machinist YouTubers plenty of times and the sound of a mill, lathe, band saw, grinder, etc. isn't exactly what I'd call soothing.

And when all else fails, I rub one out

Coom to weird porn for an hour and feel like shit afterwards, then take melatonin.

I do visualisation techniques. Mostly, I'm on a soft picnic blanket on a hill with long grass blowing gently with a mild breeze on a warm day. I can smell nearby flowers and I can hear a nearby brook bubbling over little rocks. I focus on the sounds, smells and visuals, and overall sense of peacefulness till my brain drowns out whatever is stressing me out and keeping me awake.

Dreaming awake. Idk how to call it otherwise.

I invent to myself the most ridiculous stories of things of my imagination and i play them in my head, like a sort of head game.

When i do a sufficiently long story, i often fall asleep on it and i continue it the next evening, and it can last months. Plus you get better at mental visualisation the more you do it. I remember dreams almost every night since i did that for a long time.

Well, I've dealt with insomnia since I was a kid to some degree, and as a teenager to a significant degree. I've kinda got a list.

The first thing I try is meditation. It's a solid way to shift brain waves to begin with, and often leads to improved rest even if I don't get back to sleep at all. So I always recommend at least laying still and breathing controlled patterns. Doesn't matter much what style of breathing you do, it's the control and regularity of it that helps being better rested. Half an hour of that, and 4/10 times I'm back to sleep. The rest of those, I'm usually at least feeling like I had another hour or two, so I can either get up, or switch off to other things.

Reading has been a lifelong help since it doesn't bother anyone else and for me it's almost a form of meditation of its own. So that's usually what I'll try if I still want to try to sleep more. It works fairly well. Out of those remaining 6/10, it usually gets me back to sleep 3 or 4 more times.

The rest though, I'm usually going to give up. When I was single, that meant maybe getting up and just starting my day, or fucking around doing what I could do without waking housemates. That's where devices like phones and tablets have been a huge help. I can play games, fuck around on lemmy or whatever and not disturb my wife at all, much less anyone else. Sometimes I'll throw on some headphones while doing so and listen to music.

I explicitly command my brain to stop thinking. When something pops up again I would go "nope, you ain't doing that".

I would visualize something being cleaned up, like a whiteboard being erased, or turning screens off.

I can usually sleep at night, but if I didn't use my phone I would probably draw or play the keyboard (with headphones connected) for a while, then I would stop and try to sleep again.

I read a book. Usually have an e-book or graphic novel queued up. Worse case, grab a paper book and a booklight, set to low. That always works.

I would always struggle with falling asleep while trying to read dense scientific literature and journal articles. I've now learned to weaponize that to induce sleep.

If I still have 8+ hours time I’ll throw in a Zopiclon, otherwise I’ll give up eventually and watch Youtube until the alarm goes off.

This is basically me every night. Unless I go to bed at 3am, I usually toss and turn for an hour or more. So, I listen to audiobooks. Nothing heavy, usually just sci-fi or fantasy. Basically cotton-candy for the mind. Unless I have a good lecture going, the Great Courses stuff is soothing. But, that usually distracts me enough that I finally fall asleep. I use a single ear bud in my right ear and set a sleep timer so that the book shuts off after a reasonable time. That usually gets me close enough to sleeping that I can finally get the rest of the way.

The only downside to this plan, is when you get a really good book, with a good reader and you start getting towards the end of the book. The temptation to go just one more chapter is hard to resist.

I listen to audiobooks I’ve already listened to so that they don’t take much effort to keep up with while still being more interesting than laying there motionless with nothing to do.

I live walking distance to the best queer bar in the south, you can find me there many nights after midnight. Plenty of clubs, dancing, house music. I just be roaming the night looking for pretty lights and thumping music. Perks of living in a major city

I just read my science book and I fall sleep

Melatonin and a 3mg THC gummy or two.

If it's real bad, I'll resolve to go clean up the garage. All of a sudden my body becomes too heavy to stand up and I'm immobile.

• YouTube (radio drama channels) - there are some fantastic plays.
• podcasts using antennapod on F-Droid.

I put on a Playlist of DCAU animated series. Batman: The Animated Series through Justice League Unlimited. I've seen them all a million times and it's something that lets my ADHD brain rest. You'd be surprised st how much of those shows are orchestral soundtrack withiut dialog.

I play some music (thru earbuds unless my wife happens to be away). My go to is the Goldberg Variations. I think the reason it works, even though it can be quite busy and fast in some parts is that there is enough complexity to occupy the mind, but enough sameness to lull, and I know it really well.

Sometimes I'll take 1mg of melatonin, and a cup of warm milk with honey.

Read books, do light stretching, journal with pen and paper, meditate, any quiet activity like that without a screen.

I'll get up and go to another room. Try to read or do something until I get sleepy and try again.

Listen to an audiobook. If my eyes are open I'm not falling asleep so laying there listening to a book works for me.

A doctor told me that if you aren't asleep after 20 mins, you should get out of bed and do something quiet til you are tired. So you learn to associate being in bed with sleep.

Or as someone else told me: beds are for sleeping, sex and dying.

I personally like writing + D&D, so I'll just do that in my head. Grab some character I like, throw them in some random moments, and then just kinda daydream about the little movie I'm making for myself. It helps a ton if I can keep focused

Read with a real book if possible . If you sleep by yourself you can be quiet with just a small light. Either I get lost in the story then can sleep or it gets so boring sleep seems better then forcing myself to read another word.

Season 1 of Bob's burgers at a whisper. All lights off. Phone brightness down to nothing.