Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
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Content
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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
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Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train
Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.
For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.
It's better to cum in the train than to train in the cum.
The worst part is when someone triggers the emergency brakes at high speed and all the cum gets forced to the front of the train - that is when the laser-like leaks of highly pressurised cum cut down everything in a 1km radius.
My wife died from high velocity cum. I'm holding a silent vigil tonight, you're welcome to come. Masturbation is allowed but only when silent and discrete.
Get a weighted coffin so it won't float.
I wish I could but we couldn't recover the body, the cum left earth's atmosphere with my wife's body attached. A panel of scientists told me her limp lifeless body is currently being pulled towards the the outer edges of the known universe, hence the vigil.
I can't breathe.
I love you
I love you too
puts beans in your ear
Oh, that gif makes me uncomfortable.
I’m saving it to share with others.
Some dude on the same train as mine started masturbating and everyone were saying like "what the fuck" and "Call the police" when he stopped. When he dropped the phone, I started masturbating to the content in question on the phone. Please put an NSFW tag, I dont want this shit happening again.
You know, I spent a lot of time today obsessing over how bad the world is getting, and wondering what the point of it all is.
This. It's this. I stick around for the weird motherfuckers who'll do shit like this, and share it on the internet.
If I must live through yet another apocaplyse, I want to do it with you.
What the actual fuck is that image on the screen?
What a terrible day to have eyes.
Thanks, I hate it.
I would hate to presume things but I can just tell this person just installed the Justin Bieber Linux distro on their computer (and obviously not the Hannah Montana Linux).
I'm not even sure this guy is using Arch...
I bet dude started to periodically shave his legs after this. The smoothness made him realize that women don't really shave their legs for men.
Damn, I just shaved my legs for the first time because I thought it would be fun (It definitely is interesting) like a week ago and missed the opportunity to do something like this for a laugh.
So, I actually shaved all body hair (save for the gentlemen’s region) in high school for big swim meets - it was a thing that the swim team did. Doesn’t actually make a meaningful difference unless you’re legitimately an Olympic-level competitor. I was always SUPER thrown off trying to sleep the night before the meet because sheets feel SO WEIRD on my skin without any hair on my limbs and chest.
This is why you cover your bed sheets in vaseline and motor oil, amateur.
just curious, when you were done how much did you miss? my first time I missed so much 😭
Dr. Seuss character lookin' legs.
That cherry Mx keyboard is pretty cash yo
tf is bro watching
I ruined my search history for you: https://tinyurl.com/mra5wd35. Apparently rule34 from "Five Nights at Freddie's" game, characters called Toy Chica and Toy Bonnie.
A true scholar!
Ty for sharing your research.
This should be illegal.
Lmfao you absolute menace. I love it.
Damn girl. Looking fine
Config pls???
Easy, tiger
This is modern art.
This is a programmer who only learns the functions xe needs
Thanks I hate it
What bet did you lose?
Quite.