It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.

But when you wake up, you're in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.

But you have to go through TSA every time

But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!

You can't use anything but maximum super strength, all the time.

but you have multiple personality disorder

You become god.

(Not oc, this is a known joke)

... that then gets applied to everyone within 100 metres of you on top of yourself.

But you can only do so by singing, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," as loudly as you can.

But you also shift into that humans or humanoids personality

Terribly loud non-stop belching

Everyone in your line of sight gets the full radioactive dosage

But they can't communicate with you

Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.

... provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.

You can control only 1 at a time.