Damn, maybe consider a reusable cup?
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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After his 13th cup he will get a meeting invite from his manager and HR to share some news with him. Prioritize your health and your family folks. No one gives a shit how hard you worked, you are just another worker bee making some filthy rich fucks richer
In 20 years the only people who will remember you worked late will be your kids.
Your job posting will be up before your obituary.
I like that the amount of pleasure he provided them with dropped sharply after his death. The opposite would have been troubling..
That's nice. My HR recommends improving health by doing yoga at home and making a better personal spending plan.
Not a raise though. Just figure out how to spend less.
Work hard enough to not get fired
but not so hard that it affects your health or your life
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At 14 cups, he starts phasing out of our reality at the quantum level
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Regardless of whether or not they're from the same day and what caffeine does: that's so much waste! If you drink at the same place, get a fucking reusable cup! Cutting down on this nonsense would do so much more than damn paper straws. It's not even hard. Drinking out of a nice cup is more enjoyable too. I really hate when I forgot my thermos or a store refuses to fill it
There was a dangerous point in my bartending career...
I worked at a fancy restaurant, and they bought a super fancy (like $35k) automatic espresso machine, that ground the beans to order and everything, with a touch screen.
I accidentally discovered that, if I got a little grease on my finger before telling it to make me a double shot, after it poured one, it would think my finger was still on the button, and immediately start pouring another.
So I would make a pint of espresso each evening for espresso martini, and then a quart for myself.
Wait, how's that different from just making yourself 2 double shots?
Pro tip: if that's also your reaction every time you see a coworker looking tired, saying so might not be a boon to your continued employment 🤔
Equating "looking tired" with "has had 12 coffees and a soda that also has caffeine in it" is wild.
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Brain: It is what it is.
Heart: But not for long.
that's like 6 peepee trips minimum
It’s not the peepee that gets you, it’s the loosey-deucey that follows.
Do you work for Cloudflare by chance?
You sure they're all from the same day?
The fact that some of the cups are different makes me think that is unlikely.
And a regular Coke to take the edge off, I guess?
The regular Coke is for a bit of sugar for nutrition
The irregular coke is to take the edge off
Heart problems incoming
Coffee increased heartrate, like exercise, but does not open up arteries, unlike exercise, so when you drink a lot of coffee it's like making your heart pound against a wall for hours.
Make sure you get up and do regular stretching.
Pee breaks for that
Damn😂 Most I’ve gone for is 3 cups
Their poor body...
Just fine here. I'm more interested if they had a panic attack and left work early yet.
I start having headaches, and shaking after 4.
When you hit that wall you just power through and get your second wind.
It's because you've started vibrating, but you're not yet at healthy idle revs, like a Datsun 120Y just started on a cold morning. Another 2 coffees and you'll be purring just right. 6 more and would actually have conscious control over the vibrational energy of the electrons in your body, and you'll be able to phase right through solid objects, like plate glass, if you run fast enough.
I used to abuse caffiene / coffee to an extreme. I had an espresso machine at home, and another in my office, and there were MANY days where was drinking more than 32 oz of espresso in a day. Most of my gastrointestinal issues can be directly attributed to this behavior. I don't suggest this to anyone.
That being said, I still can enjoy cold brew, and my morning ritual is a big tumbler with 1 cup cold brew , 1 cup water, 1 cup oat milk, and ice. That gets me through most days. I also do break it up where i switch to tea for extended periods.
This guy poops
- Your keyboard is gorgeous
- I wish I had your coffee budget
- Ensure you're getting hydration otherwise too, right?
My caffeine was reduced 90% recently. If you wonder whether you can be more effective or sleep better on vastly reduced caffeine, I'm here to tell you that NO, there is no upside.
Must be Frank Drebin Jr
Surely you can't be serious
I bet it reeks of undiagnosed ADHD in there.
Looks exactly like whatever random anonymous “hoteling” office I might occupy on a given day. Corporate America sucks.
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This is how you get spitters in left for dead
Dear god my heart hurts looking at this.
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