this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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I recently went car shopping, and I had considered an EV. I told someone this, and she immediately started recommending Tesla to me, despite Elon's bullshit. She tried to tell me that Elon's insanity doesn't change that Tesla is the "best product in the space".
I have to admit, Elon's bullshit was a big factor in not even giving Tesla the time of day, but there's also issues just like this one. I do not want a car that prioritizes gee-whiz geegaws over basic safety like this.
Having now driven basically all the EV vehicles available in my country, from the byd range to Hyundai, Nissan and Tesla, Tesla is just a straight mess of a vehicle by comparison, and don't even get me started on the Tesla indicator thing. Oh and they feel cheap on the inside, even the plaid and other high end ones. Lol
Yeah, I ended up going with a Hyundai. I take delivery on it later this week, and I can't wait.
R.I.P. Cord
OH NO I LOLLED
if only there was an easier way of not getting trapped in a car...
Yeah but that's really hard to do and has never been invented before!
The manual door open on some models of Teslas require removing 2 panels that are not labeled and need a diagram to know how to remove them. Another requires removing the speaker grill and pulling an unlabeled wire.
Even once the manual door release is pulled, without power you need a firefighter's upper body strength to open the door, and it's likely that flames and poisonous smoke will be coming up any tiny gap you can create by pushing open the door a little.
Just willful disregard of your customers' lives.
no they probably want you to die after the accident so that you can't tell people how the auto drive feature drove you into the building
But how else would Tesla sell futurism to its customers? Door handles and keys are old tech, we need 21st century tech, at all cost!
Honestly, this seems more like incompetence. They hired tech bros to make a car, not safety engineers. How these cars got through safety regulations is beyond me.
I've been saying this a lot lately because it seems like arc words for the zeitgeist we're living through but good gods above and below it just keeps being relevant:
Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.
When shit's this stupid, it doesn't matter whether they meant it or not...
Point taken.
Simple, the regulations don't talk about any of that shit.
US road regulations are a blend of smart, fucking stupid, and just plain missing regulations.
The fact any current "standard" pickup trucks are allowed on the road despite nearly half the population being short enough that they can't see over the hood is just one of the most obvious examples that the US road regulations are pointless to try and make sense of.
This all sounds mostly right to me. But the regulations aren't pointless, they're just incomplete. I'm still quite happy that we have these protections.
And also, you tend to only get regulations on issues after they've proven to be a problem. It's like warning labels, if you see a label that says "don't put your hand here" it may be because someone did once, and it was bad.
So with that in mind, there hasn't previously been any need for regulations on door handles that don't work without power, because it's never been an issue before. Now that we see a need for that kind of regulation, we may see it go onto the books. Now it's true that we shouldn't have to spell that kind of thing out in legislation, but (and I can't stress this enough) people can be very dumb...
Now, guess which of those two vehicles is regularly used for anything that actually requires a truck bed vs which of those is used to pick up kids from school.
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These stupid cucks...
How is this legal? Who let these vehicles on the road?
You don't tend to write a rule stating "passengers must be able to easily escape the vehicle in an emergency" until some tech bro makes it hard.
Regulators figured nobody would be stupid enough to mess that up and no paragraphs are needed to make things explicit. Then came Elon who thought that technically correct is the best kind of correct so he made this abomination of a manual release.
I, for one, am baffled.
How didn't this get recalled after the first escapable entrapment death? I could find 12 fire deaths where the occupants were evidently trapped, and that was just my dumb ass Googling for an afternoon for recent cases, I'm sure there's more.
Sarcasm (but also sadly likely Tesla's take): How are you so sure they wanted to get out?
If a new car built by my company leaves Chicago traveling west at 60 miles per hour, and the rear differential locks up, and the car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside, does my company initiate a recall?
You take the population of vehicles in the field (A) and multiple it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average cost of an out-of-court settlement (C).
A times B times C equals X. This is what it will cost if we don't initiate a recall.
If X is greater than the cost of a recall, we recall the cars and no one gets hurt.
If X is less than the cost of a recall, then we don't recall.
Which car company do you work for?
A major one.
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Probably the same person who let them on the road with a screen-swipe control for shifting with NO indicator of the gear you are in.
Wow that's a extremely stupid shifter control
Stupider than the "volume knob repurposed as a shifter" from Jeep
I did not realize how fucking stupid the gear selector was. I'm even angrier than when I started, and I started pretty angry.
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Huh, this reminded me of Five Nights at Freddy's and how even with murderous robots around, there is a safety precaution where the doors open incase power goes out.
Fire? What about the ticking time bomb batteries under you?
I would not expect US auto regulations to improve for at least 3.5 years, minimum.
It's probably easier to get one of those ceramic window breakers and get out that way. I'm pretty sure the rip cords are actually quite hard to pull.
They use laminate glass on the side windows as well as windshield on some models for noise reduction. Traditional window breaking tools don't work on them. It's basically a tombmobile.
Wow holy shit. So if you get submerged it's just straight up a death sentence. Just when you think they can't get worse...
At this point I don't know why anyone is buying those death-traps. For me any benefit from the self-driving feature is outweighed by the safety and poor build quality issues.
Take a look at comma.ai and openpilot to see whether your car is compatible. I've put about 100k miles on my comma running on my Honda Civic. Then you get a working car that's not a deathtrap and improved self driving features.
I recently got a Volkswagen with adaptive cruise control, and I'm absolutely in love with it. Never needed the car to fully drive itself, that's what public transport is for...
You're not missing anything on the self driving side... Teslas only use cameras, so can never and will never actually be self-driving. Not competently, anyways.
I don't know why anyone is buying those death-traps.
I've got good news, then! Fewer and fewer people are buying the illegal immigrant's dangerous and overpriced swastikar, with new buyers dropping and trade-ins rising every day as public support for the emerald mine nepo baby nazi dwindles daily.
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You need to grab the ripcord with your right hand, conveniently placed above the heart, and thrust it forward and up.
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Worship a Nazi get cooked in a oven. Justice is always served. Thank God, all men die.
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