Comradeship // Freechat

i used to suffer from really quite debilitating social anxiety: i wasn't able to even try and be myself in social situations because i was so scared and afraid of other people. ultimately what helped me was digging deep into my history and figuring out why i felt so scared of people in the first place. i think emotional regulation tools/skills are obviously useful too, like in this case taking deep breaths, etc

your situation sounds really tough and i feel for you, comrade. hoping you feel better soon

Hi! I used to take way more Zoloft daily due to chronic anxiety. What helped me:

I kept going to the doctor and adjusting medication. Tried different meds, different dosages, until I found what worked for me.

My personal circumstances changed. I got transferred back to the city. My job at a rural school was gruesome, but I'll spare the details.

I had a lot of support from my dear wife.

I started to get organised, first through my union. Working towards a goal with like-minded people helped me have a more positive outlook of the future.

I got diagnosed with autism. It helped us understand myself and my needs better.

Mindful meditation helped me a whole fucking lot. Almost like a magic spell.

I went to therapy.

Not all of those options will be available for you, but I hope something in there is helpful. All such personal anecdotes must be taken with a grain of salt. I still take 50 mg of Zoloft daily, but I'm okay with it.

I also started smoking weed, but I can't say how much that is possibly helping or hindering my progress. It was instrumental for me quitting alcohol altogether, though, and I'll be forever grateful for that.

Some things from therapy or incidentally adopted because of it:

• Writing down emotions throughout the day (can be as little as "feel x", doesn't need to be a journal entry)

• Loving message to self at the end of the day (if you have a partner, you could also consider asking them to do such an affirmation, as it might be more powerful coming from someone else who loves you in such an intimate way - I did not have such so it was not an option)

• Consistent sleep schedule (not having one can make shit worse, due to like sleep deprivation or staying up late ruminating on stuff)

• If your tendency is to avoid the thing that makes you anxious: Someone, a therapist or a trusted friend, who can consistently urge you to do stuff that confronts fears or drag you along for such things in the case of a friend (I don't mean skydiving either, just like everyday things, making the decision to do the thing in spite of the anxiety and getting through it, being able to prove to yourself on a consistent basis that doing the thing is not a crisis and can even feel good)

• Deep breathing (it can be hard to remember it in the moment sometimes, but there's even advice for it specifically to do with panic attacks)

• (Preferably with a professional, if possible) try to investigate causes of anxiety. There are probably reasons. For me, sometimes it's hard to understand the reasons because it can seem sorta nonverbal, like some of it's coming from vague impressions of an experience... like what's scary about a cashier at a grocery store? OTOH, some reasons are super obvious, like reading certain things in the news and it might be that talking through what specifically is distressing about it helps lessen the feeling.

• Learn to break rumination cycles. I know, this is not straightforward on its own, but it's important. Talking to someone else or writing thoughts down can sometimes help. Or just halting and interrogating the thought more. Rumination tends to loop on assumptions and continuously leave out a lot. The way I can think to try to explain it is it's sorta like your thoughts are going: "I w nt o s e o y nd bh so e m l", but it feels like you're thoroughly addressing the whole thing. "I went to the store and bought some milk" is the full thing, but in actuality, that's not what you're addressing. You're looping on fragments of perception, memory, and beliefs that leave out a lot.

Here's a made up example, but not dramatically different from something I saw once in someone else: Person X is looking forward to going swimming. They hear two people talking quietly about swimming, but don't catch all of it. Next thing they know, plans to go swimming are canceled. They think this is because they said they were tired earlier around these two and the two are going behind their back to cancel it without consulting them. They increasingly believe this to be the case and get more and more agitated. Eventually, they go off on their own. Someone finds them and gets the other two involved to talk it out. Turns out the intent to cancel swimming had nothing to do with Person X and the two hadn't realized how much Person X wanted to go swimming.

Person X could have gone in a much different direction by doing any or all of: Halting the assumption. "Is it really about me? What evidence do I have that it is?" Asking the two why swimming was canceled. "What were your reasons for doing so?" Expressing an interest in it, how they were looking forward to it and would still like to in spite of being tired.

This can apply to more than just anxiety, which is all the more reason it's important. Breaking stuff down beyond assumptions, and investigating, is important. Whether it leads to a conclusion that you were wrong or more certainty that you were right, it's leading toward some kind of resolution. Ruminating, by contrast, gets stuck on a state of non-resolution and agitation builds in its stead.

Watch hydration; Remember to breathe consciously. Fixating your attention into an active action can help with anxiety and distract your mind. Deep breaths, use the stomach and nit the chest. Inhale through nose exhale through mouth

Do a simple questioning of your surroindings, for example: Why is that particular window of that car dirty? What could be the root cause? And also say the colors of the things you see this anchors you to reality.

Allow yourself to be in a stimulation free enviroment. As much as it can. For me it's isolated, silent bathrooms.

If all else fails, chew raw fresh ginger! It's very healthy, grabs your attention with that constant heat effect, lets you think much clearly after eating it. :)

(THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE IS NOT ADVICE, AVOID AT ALL COSTS AS IT IS A VERY HARMFUL CHEMICAL)

Develop a nicotine addiction (like yours truly)

I smoke a small joint sometimes before I go to bed, it helped me a lot. Not a large amount, only a small cigarette paper with filter joint. It's best to do it without tobacco so you don't get addicted to that. But I am not a doctor and this is not a recommendation, only my experience

A study came out showing that anxiety and other mental health issues can be drastically reduced by eating a lot of raw fruit and veg: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00487/full

Do you find yourself having constant racing, uncontrollable thoughts? I experienced this for years, admittedly with depression mixed in such that a depressive thought would trigger anxiety about my ability to change things in my life, which would reinforce the depression. Because of this I once had a panic attack in one of my favorite places and started me crying in public. I have also had moments where I started to believe that I was literally sub-human and that I stank no matter how clean I tried to get myself. What has helped me is an anti-psychotic called Latuda (lurasidone). It is absurdly expensive in the US, but insurance will usually cover most of it. It has helped rein my crazy in and get things done, and I would not have graduated without it. Maybe this only applies to my somewhat unique brain, but starting it reduced both the number of meds I take and the total amount of meds I take. I can't be sure it would help you, but if your experience lines up with mine maybe ask your doctor about it.

Have you thought about ADHD? It's a common symptom of free-flowing fear and anxiety. It might be counterintuitive, but some medications like methylphenidate or dextroamphetamine can work much better than any SSRI or similar.

Apart from medication, there are some things that might alleviate this issue, such as diet, lifestyle, etc.

Have you done any blood tests?

I lived with anxiety without ever knowing what it was growing up, and it was after I started going to the gym and lifting weights that it kinda just went away on its own. i know it's the cliche and it sounds like a non-answer, but it really just improved naturally. it was very tough feeling comfortable at the gym in the early days but i quickly became comfortable and it became kind of like a second home for me. I even took a solo trip abroad 2 years in (well, solo for a leg of it lol). A part of it might also have been age and just getting older.

I know it sucks but you don't have to live like this! There are answers.