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[–] 165 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (55 children)

Fun fact: choking during sex is the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40. Source.

When you cut off blood supply to the brain you start damaging it real fast. There are studies measuring blood biomarkers of neural injury and inflammation in women who report being chocked during sex and it's clear that choking causes brain damage. According do experts there's no safe way to do it. It's just another disturbing, violent trend popularized by porn.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago

    Blaming sexual violence on porn seems the same kind of cheap virtue-signalling as blaming gun violence on video games.

    Being choked feels good. Your partner sometimes asks you to choke them, sometimes in the heat of the action.

    The most important thing is that there really is no safe way to do it, and it should be never done. Upvoted your post for visibility. For the sceptics, here is an article (in German) about one medical doctor accidentally killing another during sex.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 days ago

    According do experts there’s no safe way to do it.

    I always heard that you/your partner should squeeze the sides of the neck so that it gives the sensation of being choked without actually blocking air/bloodflow

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  • [–] 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    Why does it have to be about violence and porn? Talk about the dangers all you want but that shit just genuinely feels like crack. You get flooded with brain chemicals that feel euphoric. Focus on the important bits about the risks rather than applying stupid moral judgements.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    Ok but you do realize how comparing it to crack is not helping here right

    Like I'm more than happy to also warn people to stay tf away from crack lol

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  • [–] 23 points 1 week ago (22 children)

    The euphoria is from the hypoxia, I think. In which case, a similar high could be had by scheduling sexy times in an oxygen tent mountain climbers and endurance athletes use for training.

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  • [–] 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (21 children)

    It has nothing to do with euphoria. From the source:

    In 2021, a research team led by Debby Herbenick, provost professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, interviewed 24 women aged 18 to 33 in depth about their experiences of strangulation during sex. Although, for most, their first experience had involved no prior discussion – including one who was having sex for the first time – the majority now viewed it as “routine and regular”. All believed it was safe, despite experiencing many physical reactions, including coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing and vision changes. Some said they accepted being choked for their partner’s pleasure, even though they didn’t personally find it arousing. Others did enjoy it and sought it out as “adventurous” and “exciting”.

    The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women and adds, “It is curious how sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal, has become so frequently enacted by men on women partners.”

    Bows makes the same point. “What’s not being talked about is that this is happening overwhelmingly to women by men. If you accept what people will argue – that this is an activity that’s enjoyed because it’s ‘sensual’ – then why aren’t men the recipients more often? To me, it’s just another way we’ve culturally legitimised men harming women.”


    It just keeps going like that. It's really wroth reading.

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  • [–] 15 points 1 week ago (20 children)

    "then why aren’t men the recipients more often?"

    I'd be interested to know the source on this, because I know plenty men who are into this. Even in the paragraph prior it states, "sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal."

    That said, full consent and knowledge about the potential long-term physical harm are absolutely critical

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  • [–] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (14 children)

    It says "The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women". So it seams to suggest that before choking your partner became common it was mostly men to chocked themselves while masturbating. Now it's mostly men that choke women. It doesn't say it doesn't happen to men, just that women were not into it before and now it happens to them more.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 week ago (5 children)

    idk if you were trying to be funny or not, but it is driving me INSANE:

    choking*

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    I get what your saying

    idk if you were trying to be funny or not, but:

    You're*

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago* (2 children)
  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    It’s a little funny when people correct others spelling mistakes in the same thread where they also have made spelling mistakes, that’s all haha

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago

    I'm just being funny, I agree, it's always a bit cringe when people correct others on their spelling while spelling their reply incorrectly 😅

    Like if you're gonna be a pedant, be a pedant correctly

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

    In 2021, a research team led by Debby Herbenick, provost professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, interviewed 24 women aged 18 to 33 in depth about their experiences of strangulation during sex. Although, for most, their first experience had involved no prior discussion – including one who was having sex for the first time – the majority now viewed it as “routine and regular”. All believed it was safe, despite experiencing many physical reactions, including coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing and vision changes. Some said they accepted being choked for their partner’s pleasure, even though they didn’t personally find it arousing. Others did enjoy it and sought it out as “adventurous” and “exciting”.

    The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women and adds, “It is curious how sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal, has become so frequently enacted by men on women partners.”

    Bows makes the same point. “What’s not being talked about is that this is happening overwhelmingly to women by men. If you accept what people will argue – that this is an activity that’s enjoyed because it’s ‘sensual’ – then why aren’t men the recipients more often? To me, it’s just another way we’ve culturally legitimised men harming women.”

    Here is the Guardian article that ExLisper already linked.

    Here is the paper that the Guardian references.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    OK but what if I really like being choked a little

    Not that I'm under 40. Or a woman.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

    It's like any other risky behavior - there's still a risk, but ultimately it's up to you if you want to risk death in pursuit of orgasm.

    Haha people get so pissy about reality - I'm a domme and engage in some choking, but have strict rules around it. It is silly to pretend there's 0 risk to choking. Be informed and get consent.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    JFC, what kind of porn are you people watching?

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago (9 children)

    maybe some people like having their brain shut off somewhat, and that's actually the entire point? maybe not everyone likes being hyper-aware of everything all the time?

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  • [–] 27 points 1 week ago* (7 children)

    Liking it doesn't take away the risk. There's a lot of things we do in life that have risk, but we still do them for various reasons.

    By all means, enjoy the thrill! But educate yourself and be aware that there is no completely safe way to choke or be choked. And of course always get consent.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 week ago

    From what I'm reading there's no "risk" involved: it's just harmful. Risk implies it can be done without any harm, but harm is more likely than not. Smoking cigarettes isn't risky behaviour it's harmful behaviour.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 week ago

    Within kink it you aren't learning the basics of the risks of something before doing it you aren't following either of the dominant models of how to properly engage. Safe Sane and Consensual demands you learn enough to confirm something is safe (most people consider choking incompatible with this model). Meanwhile Risk Aware Consensual Kink demands you make yourself aware of the risks before consenting.

    I get wanting to turn your brain off. I love subspace in part because it shuts my brain off. But going into something in kink without doing your due diligence is how you risk getting seriously injured. I play with fire and electricity, but consider choking too dangerous for me.

    If I found out someone who told me they had plenty of experience bottoming for electricity (and thus I didn't give the safety spiel) didn't understand that it can fuck with implanted electronics and can be fatal to people with pacemakers (very basic safety knowledge for estim), it's unlikely they'd ever be able to convince me to play with them again. I'd just consider them to be too reckless.

    BDSM is dangerous at times. It's fun as all hell, I fucking love it, but it has dangers. You need to use your brain first so you can decide how you're comfortable turning it off.

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