I have this theory that when you are public facing, it behooves you to put your best foot forward.

For example, if you are going to talk to people in a grocery store trying to sell your pasta sauces, make sure your breath doesn't smell like a seagull died behind your uvula. (I'm looking at you, Stefano Faita)

What an interesting idiom! Thanks for believing me when I say my dick is three feet long.

You have no idea how much I suffer.

I don't even know what about her is supposed to be ugly on the inside. She bores me.