There's a roughly 3 year period I'd give an arm and a leg to totally forget and make impossible to remember... I've forgotten lots of my life thanks to what happened... And now that I'm remembering the good bits from before - the flashbacks from during hit worse.

Doing a lot better than a significant majority of the past year thankfully. But at the same time... I wish I could just be normal...

Jokes on you, most people I talked to from my school years do not remember jackshit after 1 year of not seeing each other.

Nah, fuck em. And fuck the old me too. Neither parties can offer me anything at this point. I'm moving on

Persistence of self is an illusion. A person is a process rather than an entity.

I try to keep in mind when I'm feeling annoyance or resentment for something that happened when I was younger, that it's also entirely possible I'm thinking about a different version of that person than what exists today. The same way I've grown it's entirely possible that unpleasant people I once knew have grown as well. It gives me an opportunity to let go of a few mild grudges I've held onto over the years.

However this is also the primary reason I don't have a Facebook. It can occasionally either torpedo this idea by showing me the person who I once knew to be a prick remains a prick, or someone who I once thought highly of has become awful.

I wasn't a smart person when I was younger but I'm not a smart person now.

saw a friend from my highschool DND club who I haven't seen in a year in a half walk past while cashiering at work. I said hi and waved and she didn't even acknowledge me. Fair enough, I've changed a lot lol

I try to not think about it, I have bad takes nowadays but I absolutely loath and feel disgust with the person I used to be.

I do still try to have empathy for my old self. I don't think carrying that self hatred forward is helpful for the healing.

Every version of me kinda sucks tbh, that's part of being human. But it doesn't matter if other people can or can't forgive you for who you used to be, it only matters if you can.

If you're cringing at your past self that just means you're growing [:

Every single moment, ever person, everything led to exactly where I am now so, while I'm not proud of who I used to be, it was a necessary stepping stone to be where I am now.

Granted, I'm probably worse but, hey, we can't all be winners.

Jesus, it does now! I was an absolute douche when I was younger! Why would you say this to people!? starts hyperventilating

Could be worse, what if they remember you being awesome but you suck now?

I’ve been depressed and reclusive since COVID, there are people who probably remember a much better me than the me I am now, sadly

People are irritating like that. They simultaneously think people can’t change, yet expect them to, but don’t treat them accordingly if they have.

I try to think of it this way: if you wince a bit at the thought of past selves, it just means you've grown.

The commit tree diverges :/

Honestly I was just doing my best but the people around me sure as hell weren't. They were much worse and now I'm better without them around

I had a lot of security flaws and vulnerabilities that were patched over time. I can't understand why people are still running such old versions of me - it's grossly negligent.

Nah man, it's the opposite. The version of me my old friend probably still have of me is way cooler than who I am now.

It fucks me up that nobody perceives us the way we see ourselves.

yeah just ran into this texting an ex recently. we were together for almost 5 years, but i didnt learn i was neurodivergent or trans or kinda aro and very nonmonogamous until years after we broke up. ive been through years of therapy and self discovery at this point and shes still operating on memories of a maladjusted egg doing her best man impression (badly) and being kind of shitty about it.

i made an offhand comment that triggered some of the trauma i left her with, which made her type a long text reminding me of how i was shitty to her. it was kind of surreal because it was based on what i know now to be really shitty and toxic assumptions about my motivations and intentions, and the person who did those things to her is dead at this point.

i thought i would feel bad but i just kind of felt sad that shes still carrying that stuff around with her... not that ive put down all the baggage she left me with but still, it seemed almost fresh to her even after all these years.

There's a guy I used to work with 20 years ago. We got on alright, but then something changed and he really took against me. I've no idea why, or what happened. I guess I said or did something that pissed him off, and he didn't feel like he wanted to tell me what. But it got to the point where he was kinda violent towards me, so I just kept my distance, then left the company (for reasons unrelated to this).

He later went on to work with some of the guys who work at my current place, who I get on really well with. Anyway, we were talking about people in the industry we've known over the years, as you do, and it comes up that they know him.

One of the guys bumped into him at a party a little while later, and mentioned that he was working with me now, to which he was told "Oh. Is DJDarren still a fucking prick?"

And I honestly have no idea what I did wrong.

I later discovered that I'm ADHD as fuck, so I guess it's something to do with that.

I served a mission for the LDS Church and had some success -- my mission didn't have a lot of baptisms, but I managed a few. I left the religion about a year after I got back, and I'm not particularly proud of who I was when I was a member. I think a lot about the people who converted because of the things that I said to them, and whether they'd be better or happier people had I chosen not to go.