I'm not a big fan of Ethan but he's the only one who knows how key aspects of our network architecture works and he does get back to his desk faster if you salt him.

once had a guy open his pants, tuck his penis down between his balls, turn it sideways 90 degrees, and called it a 'hamburguesa'

it was about 10 inches from my face

the military was interesting. i was not offended by this. maybe because i was already desensitized by then. who knows.

Ethan didn't touch me without consent.

John compared your promotion to cooked meat and is laying hands on you without warrant. John is harassing.

Cindy is on the clock and working. No complaints filed on her behalf regarding any cramped or confined work conditions. Cindy is doing well.

Ethan was contracted to clear a stuck pig diagnostic tool inside a petroleum industrial mainline pipe. He called for traction materials to his teammates so he could safely navigate thru the extreme challenging environment. Ethan is doing his job well.

Ya know, at least Ethan isn't touching you

In real life, work harassment often looks like B. How many times has Cindy "accidentally" spilled coffee over you? She's just so clumsy lol lol.

John is an asshole.

Cindy is clumsy.

Ethan provide a vital release of pent-up anger and frustration with the leadership.

None of those are harassment. You'd need to repeatedly ask them to stop (and them failing to do so) to configure harassment.

You would not believe how many trainings like this one I completed with a score close to 100% just by picking the longest answers.

Ethan is not touching you in any way, he's just doing his own thing, so the answer must be A or B. Depends if you hate Cindy or John more.

This reminds me of employee orientation I went through at an old job. There were videos on the usual things like sexual harrassment, workplace/industrial safety, etc.

The video on racial discrimination actually had some examples of what not to do.

What I remember was a white employee asking a black employee about why do mexicans always drive low riders, the black employee was all idk, white employee says “it’s so they can pick lettuce without having to get out of the car!”, and both laughed hysterically.

Those of us in the training room were looking at each other like ummmmm wtf?

SALT THE SNAIL!

I've lost count of how many "Ethan's" I've worked with over the years. /s

Obviously A. Ethan didn't touch me, and Cindy only on accident.

Also I wasn't promoted, so that pervert John must be insinuating that he can get me promoted in exchange for unspecified “services”. I wouldn't feel safe around him.

John is the boss and old, he just grew in another time.

Ethan is that weird guy that the company cannot afford to lose at any cost.

Evidently it is Cindy, and she will claim she was the victim, make false accusations and go on twitter.

/s

C isn't harassment it's just a nervous breakdown at work. The guy doing unsolicited touching on the other hand...

none of these are harassment?

These comments got me confused, yes John touches someone on the back, but like the back isn't sexually motivated?? All the answers are not harassment perse, at least not without some extra context. But when I read the comments I think that you all are just extra touch sensitive (possibly because of some worse experiences or with extra context, which is fair - don't get me wrong)

I know this is a joke, but what the actual fuck is that slug story. I am laughing my ass off reading it 😂.

A.

Clearly, A.

He’s a bad little slug. 😏

Hey, John, keep your gods damned hands to yourself you fucking creep. Hope you have a good attorney.

Ethan covered himself in oil

It must be Wednesday; I could never get the hang of Wednesdays... --Douglas Adams

I got one once where you got an email (when sending "fun" emails was a thing) with a racist joke. What to do??

A) report

Etc.

C) forward to the team

D) forward to the team, But only of it was really funny

😬