A game changer for me was separate cover blankets.
Showerthoughts
A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.
Here are some examples to inspire your own showerthoughts:
- Both “200” and “160” are 2 minutes in microwave math
- When you’re a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up.
- More dreams have been destroyed by alarm clocks than anything else
Rules
- All posts must be showerthoughts
- The entire showerthought must be in the title
- No politics
- If your topic is in a grey area, please phrase it to emphasize the fascinating aspects, not the dramatic aspects. You can do this by avoiding overly politicized terms such as "capitalism" and "communism". If you must make comparisons, you can say something is different without saying something is better/worse.
- A good place for politics is c/politicaldiscussion
- Posts must be original/unique
- Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct and the TOS
If you made it this far, showerthoughts is accepting new mods. This community is generally tame so its not a lot of work, but having a few more mods would help reports get addressed a little sooner.
Whats it like to be a mod? Reports just show up as messages in your Lemmy inbox, and if a different mod has already addressed the report, the message goes away and you never worry about it.
It took me a few years to convince my partner that sleeping separately would be a good idea. He snores and I am a very light sleeper. It has improved our relationship to sleep apart. Since I talk to my friends about it, I know that many of them also sleep apart and credit it for being able to stay happily married instead of being sleep deprived and always mad at their partner. On vacation, we often go back to sharing a bed.
I agree. My wife and I fought against separate beds for a long time, but some things went down that required us to have alternate sleep schedules so that forced us to do it.
That was 12 years ago and we have had separate bedrooms ever since.
We have since learned that pretty much all of our friends who have been married for significant number of years sleep in separate beds. Sleeping is such an important part of living and a huge impact on QoL. So once you accept that quality sleep is a basic need and not a referendum on the state of the marriage it just solves a set of problems.
Using a Device of Mandibular Advancement I have been able to stop snoring completely and I don’t need CPAP anymore.
It is done by dentists.
I think that we as couple, we feel somewhat the same. Split bedrooms never hurt us. Try’na pretend that we don’t do weird stuff in our sleep is absolutely crazy talk. The bizarre behavior we do in our sleep is downright weird & funny. There should absolutely be no shame in sleeping separately for a solid nights rest. Any halfway intelligent couple is aware of this. Or at least will soon be turned on to this insane idea. .
I sleep better snuggled up against someone.
I uses to suffer from night terrors regularly that mostly went away when I started sleeping with SO. Thay being said we do sleep better in a long size bed then in the standard twin we have at home. So maybe the issue is space.
I struggle to sleep without my husband. I need my feet to touch his, at least. We share a queen bed, even use the same blanket (it is a King blanket though). Im really surprised so many folks don't sleep in the same bed at their partner here. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just surprised.
Maybe things will change when we are older, but I couldn't imagine.
I am kind of incredulous that anyone actually sleeps better with a whole separate person in the bed. It gets too hot and you both wake up whenever the other one uses the bathroom, or if you don't go to bed at the same time, or if you don't get up at the same time. Just from those basic mechanics it seems to defy logic that actual sleep quality, beyond some intangible aesthetic, wouldn't be negatively impacted.
I have terrible insomnia, I have misophonia, and I am a light sleeper. My partner talks in his sleep, he's a furnace, and a loud breather, but I'll tell you, nothing conks me out like turning over and being the big spoon on that guy. When he's out of town it's harder (or at least less comfortable) to fall asleep. Sometimes when I really really can't sleep for hours, I'll reach over and just hold his limp sleeping hand and it helps.
He can fall asleep anywhere and sleep through anything though. If we were both poor sleepers, idk what we'd do.
We do the same, she’ll have a foot touching my ankle and I’ll have a hand touching her hip. Sometimes her toenails are stabby and I roll away but she seeks me out in her sleep lol.
Occasionally I’ll sleep on the couch if I have a sinus headache as it is more upright to promote drainage, but vast majority of time we sleep together.
I sleep much better accompanied. I'm single at the moment and it's been dreary.
I sleep better when I’m next to my wife.
I also sleep better when I'm next to your wife
... Sorry, my pre-Lemmy internet use has corrupted me.
Yah, my partner and I sleep in the same bed and under the same blankets and I sleep best when either I’m snuggling them or they’re snuggling me.
Me and husband each have our own blankets and sheets and such on the one king bed. Cause he's a furnace and I'd explode if I got that hot. It's much nicer.
Scandinavian sleeping, it's the best!
I love that one person downvoted you for this comment. I think the internet was a bad idea.
I try not to pay attention to the vote count, and just let my comments uhhh do their thing which is 'rambling' probably!
My ideal living situation with a partner would be:
Two entirely separate living areas with individual bedrooms, plus a third area for both of us that also has a bed.
So in other words, I'll probably be single forever.
I mean, that's how it's like with my third partner, so I think you'll be okay.
(Note: we are poly, not cheating with HR)
Works great if you have extra rooms around your house for each person. Must be freaking nice.
Married and swear by seperate beds. It's amazing if you've got the space. But it is good to make sure you get plenty of "lying about in bed together" time. But it's great to be able to go off to your own bed after for a peaceful, undisturbed sleep. And being able to read a night or get dressed in the morning without worrying about disturbing your partner.
I've dated one person who could not bear to be touched at all in her sleep (but she insisted on sharing the same bed, which made things awkward for me) and another person who snored, but I think that humans probably generally sleep better together. It isn't a sexual thing - look at non-human animals and how they often sleep cuddled up together. As a kid, I shared a bed with my grandfather (we lived in a small apartment) and I would fall asleep hugging him, and as an adult I slept better when I could cuddle up with my dog.
And how is the chocolate factory business?
Come with me
And you will see
A world of OSHA violations
I sleep so much better with my wife. Unless I snore, then I get kicked awake all night
I also sleep so much better with your wife
you're the one kicking him, aren't you?
Oh shit, Jen? /s
I guess I’m in the minority that I have a harder time sleeping without my spouse than with. I realized about six months in that I’d rapidly developed some sort of dependence where I would fall asleep quickly if I spooned her. She had surgery in January and spent several weeks in the guest room so she could avoid the stairs, so we’ve tried being apart. It is nice if you have the space/budget for a king bed, though, to spread out from each other some.
I sleep better with my wife in the bed :3
I sleep better with your wife in my bed too!
I also need to sleep alone. Everyone is different. My wife stirs so much that it's better to sleep in separate beds and have ehmmm surprise night visits.
Unless you have sleep apnea, the key then is to get a sleep study, and get a cpap. It changed so much for my wife
I too will testify to the power of the CPAP!
I was diagnosed with Sleep Apena and refused to use it.
I am not putting that stupid thing on my face at night.
Well when the MVA told me that if I didn’t show logs of usage I would loose my divers license i started.
It took one night to convince me it was the greatest thing ever, and I felt so stupid for not using it sooner.
My wife actually thought something was wrong because I was so “quiet” when I slept.
Sleep Apena is no bullshit and it is amazing how much it was dragging me down.
Nah. My wife snores like hell, but I can't fall asleep when she isn't there.
Everyone's gonna have different needs, but I've benefited a lot from having the option to sleep separately. Having a second bed set up means it can happen whenever we need, or accommodate if more people need to stay over.
Sometimes I'll need to stretch out in a weird way or I'll get muscle spasms that would keep us both up, so it's a no brainer to sleep separately. Sometimes mentally I need the space too, but otherwise I really do like falling asleep with someone. So it's like a 50/50 if it will work for me on any given night. My nesting partner tends to fall asleep a lot faster so usually I'll cuddle her to sleep and then get back up, bumble around a little bit then go sleep in my bed. It works out great for the both of us!
My wife and I have separate sheets and blankets, it's almost like our own beds. It's some good sleep.
I sleep much better when my wife is nearby. We have a super king though so she isn't exactly smushed against me, she's just nearby.