this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 32 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

She's not putting up much of a defence.

As an aside, do the lesbian cabals have enough resources to get on with the destruction of western civilization, or do they have a gofundme, or something?

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 16 hours ago
[–] Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Most of us in lesbian witch cabals just call them polycules, and the more powerful ones always need more help :p

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago

Aha! So you finally confess, but it's too late now! We've long known you for a witch, SQUIRRELANNA!

Hope you live a long and happy life with your lesbian witch friends and that if you have a moment, keep fixing the world by making rotten scumbags loose their licenses and what other mischievous deeds are fitting for such a cabal.

[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 18 points 18 hours ago

Little did Gary know, they were after his law license. Not his marriage.

[–] don@lemm.ee 71 points 1 day ago (5 children)

An apparent male lawyer, who committed fraud, seems to at some point have told this woman – who’s sexual preference I’m not even vaguely concerned with – that she’s part of a lesbian cabal of witches… who are specifically trying to destroy… his marriage…

Huh. That’s some fuckin outerdimensional level of mental gymnastics right there, holy raging badgerfuck

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 68 points 1 day ago (3 children)

"We are a powerful cabal of witches who wield the unlimited powers of Satan."

"Yes! What shall we do, then?"

"Why, fuck up Gary's marriage of course!"

[–] don@lemm.ee 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No higher calling, no greater purpose. Fuck your marriage specifically, Gary!

Job well done lads. Off we go.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Job well done lads.

Hahaha the rest was funny, but somehow that tipped me over the edge, the image of the cabal of lesbians referring to each other as lads.

[–] Pissmidget@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Do you think they're related to the sinister gay cabals that are responsible for Figgis' room arrangements in Archer?

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 22 hours ago

I have a feeling that Gary's wife may just not like him very much. Not sure how exactly the lesbian witches are involved, but enquiry minds would like to know.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 12 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I mean, his wife might be really hot.

This comment reminds me of how my ex-bf became my ex after he told me he cast a love charm on me. I don't belive in Magic, but I can't trust someone who would think that the magical equivalent of a rookie is a good idea to do to your boyfriend

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

And really into witches.

Maybe she asked him to wear a sexy witch outfit for their frisky Friday, and he never got over it.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 3 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

And really into witches.

Isn't everyone?

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 1 points 14 hours ago

An individual of refined taste, I see.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago
[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

I think you're on to something, raging badgerfuck does sound like it'd be on the list of marriage-enders.

He's such a nice guy, he'd never have sinful thoughts about her of his own accord. Lawyer senses kicked in, ipso facto, quod erat demonstrandum, abra cadabra: witchcraft.

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[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 23 hours ago

The lesbian witch cabal can't stop winning

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 23 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like she's a pretty powerful witch if she ruined his marriage and his career.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I don't want to take anything away from the witch cabals, but guys like these have a tendency to light themselves on fire, the problem is usually when they bring down their family along with them.

[–] match@pawb.social 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

i would say that, if black magic exists at all, it's predominantly about causing guys like this to burn themselves down quickly and cleanly

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

It was staring me in the face but I was too blind to see it.

Thank you, master.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 22 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I wanna party with a lesbian witch cabal.

One of them would be really good at fixing cars and machines, one of them would be real into gardening, one of them would be very bookish.

They could borrow my wife anytime for use in their evil sex magic. We'd get up to hijinks and shit.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

He's got more hair, but my face would have that same expression if it was me.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

OK that does sound like a fair portion of the lesbian polycules I've known lol

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

And kids, if you work really hard on your studies of lesbian polycules, you can become a Captain too!

[–] Una 37 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hmm interesting that people who make conspiracies about LGBTQ+ people are usually ones doing some scams or something worse hmm interesting, I wonder why?

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

You're gonna get a kick out of the oh-so-very-ironic overlaps between reich winger conventions and massive spikes in Grindr traffic in said areas during such. Whatever could it mean?!

[–] meyotch@slrpnk.net 16 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

It means that I have more low quality prospects to sort through to find a decent lay. The Republican Butt Monsters are quite easy to spot but it still takes effort I would rather spend relating to healthy human beings.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 15 hours ago

What? You don't wanna maybe win sudden nation-wide fame for leaked pics of your talented involvement in any number of Drumpf lickers' petit-mort cognitive disconnect en flagrante? Whatever for?

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Every accusation is an admission, as always

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Gary is a cabal of gay witches confirmed.

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[–] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 9 points 21 hours ago

Too bad there are probably still supreme court justice and almost certainly high level DOJ employees who would like to burn lots of us at stakes, but, hey, one down

[–] 1024_Kibibytes@lemm.ee 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 14 points 21 hours ago

Director of Cybersecurity @EFF / Co-founder of @stopstalkerware

That's a very powerful witch.

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[–] The_Caretaker@lemm.ee 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Next time I visit my favorite adult video site, I am definitely searching for lesbian witch cabal.

[–] Tum@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Also a great stoner rock band name.

Check out their split EP with the Mammoth Bong Druids of Weed Wizard Mountain!

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 day ago (4 children)

God I wish I had the context though

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[–] lath@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would like to point out that Thanos made some guy's life miserable just because. So a cabal of lesbian witches looking to destroy someone's marriage is just as much possible. And I say this with the consideration that both are fictional and thus not bound by the rules of reality.

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