this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 66 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The vending machine is restocked by team members from a nearby Chick-fil-A location on the hospital’s campus.

That makes sense, I suppose, since the location that would be restocking it is closed.

I mean honestly that's just stupid AF but at the same time, I don't give a crap because I still refuse to eat there since they're owned by religious assholes that fund child abuse.

[–] Illogicalbit@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

I like irony here that the headline focuses on the “closed on Sunday” bit rather than a vending machine provided by a company that specializes in fried chicken in a place where health is important.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

To be fair, the machine doesn’t sell fried chicken, so the Sunday hours really are the stupidest part of this machine.

It sells a grilled chicken wrap, a veggie wrap, and two types of potato chips. Not too bad for hospital cafeteria food.

https://youtube.com/shorts/dcOlXY2sIQQ

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/southwest-veggie-wrap

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/chick-fil-a-cool-wrap

[–] hello_cruel_world@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

Error 451

It appears you are attempting to access this website from a country outside of the United States, therefore access cannot be granted at this time.

Oh no. Whatever will I do!?

I guess I'll never get to sample the journalistic behemoth that is whatever that news outlet is!

[–] chosensilence@pawb.social 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Triumph@fedia.io 28 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It's so the machine can go pray to Robot Jesus.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"Calculon, save us from the ugly walking bags of mostly water who keep pushing our buttons!"

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Does Bender actually say bags of mostly water? Because that is a Star Trek reference.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

One can make more than one reference at a time.

"Use the force, Harry" ~Gandalf

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

As the other person noted, I was combining references. I'm not the type to have an encyclopedic knowledge of quotes from shows I like, as I tend to be a more casual type of fan. The ST:TOS quote was just stuck in my head from childhood & I made up most of the rest (I think).

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 1 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

So, what more proof do you need that I'm not one of those fans who live for the show? There was only one show that ever got me close to that, and it wasn't anything we've mentioned here.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

It's an early season, though, so it has a bit of TOS feel to it, at least.

[–] YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Have you seen Robot Hell? The singing is incessant.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Also it's so the machine has a whole day free to persecute the LGBTQ community.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

futurama_preacherbot.gif

[–] Zedstrian@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How’s that for resident wellness?

Terrible for patient and visitor health.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Fast food is bad enough for your health that maybe being closed 1 day a week is actually a positive :D

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 3 points 3 days ago

They should try closing for all days a week.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -3 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Does anyone care about Chic-fil-A? And what’s up with Christian companies/churches going HARD on animal abuse? Y’all are judgmental as fuck but then go around stuffing a bunch of dead animals down your throat. Nasty people I tell ya.

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I swear that 90% of the people that go vegan only do so to feel morally superior to others, and don't actually care about animals as much as they care about feeding their own ego. It's such a bizarre stance to take too.

Food that requires literal slave labor? That's ok. Food that is an ecological and climate nightmare? Perfectly fine. Even when it deprives animals of their habitat and safe drinking water? Especially then.

Food that is produced naturally and voluntarily by bugs who would continue to do it in the absence of any human intervention? Animal cruelty.

I'll grant you the meat industry has some fucking problems. But like, they're not wholely different from the problems most agriculture has.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 days ago

Quinoa obsession has damaged an entire culture. They can't even afford to eat their own staple crop now.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This poster certainly has the nut part down pat.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -2 points 2 days ago

Eating animals will stop all those other problems /s

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 3 points 2 days ago

They fund orgs that literally torture gay children. Yes, we care.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Got it. We’ll put you down for the Southwest Veggie wrap.