What do you need to pre-game to make the Miller Lites enjoyable?

Baseball is the socially acceptable background noise for sitting in public and drinking beer, tbf

Ballpark dogs also help.

Unnecessary tangent: the main thing that makes them so good* is that they wrap them in foil before handing them to you, letting the bun heat up and steam a bit. You could microwave a cheap bun for a few seconds at home and get the same experience while saving several dollars. Or grill/toast it for one that blows ballpark dogs out of the water.

* Besides cooking them well enough, which most people don't do because the perfect hot dog takes multiple times longer than the instructions say. Simply heating them through isn't enough - blistered is better!

Yet nothing makes miller light enjoyable. Monkey piss.

That came up in LearnedLeague at one point. It’s candles, isn’t it?

Miller lite is 12 fl oz, 4.2% ABV. A baseball game is typically 2.5 hours long. Assuming a 200 lbs man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 3-5 beers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02% and 0.06% BAC at the end of the game.

Consuming 23 beers over the course of the game will result in a 0.38% BAC, which calculator.net helpfully describes with:

"Stupor, central nervous system depression, loss of understanding, lapses in and out of consciousness, low possibility of death"

In metric:

Miller lite is 0.355 liters, 4.2% ABV. A batball game is typically 9 kiloseconds long. Assuming a 90.71847 kg man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 0.3-0.5 decabeers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02 metric% and 0.06 metric% BAC at the end of the game.

I highly doubt it. It's probably like $5 for a single 12oz can. The kind you could buy a 6 pack of for the same price.

In that same breath, $13 beers are just insane. There's no logistical cost or reason for them being that expensive other than they have you restricted as a captive audience. It doesn't cost them nearly that much, but you'll pay it, because otherwise it's nothing. And baseball without beer should just be classified as a genevia level form of torture.

Yes that’s stadium pricing. Pay $10-$15 for a hot dog that makes the Costco $1.50 hot dog look gourmet.

They're overpriced to keep people from drinking more but also I agree with you.

Or they're watching the Orioles play.

23 beers, however... well, it's Miller Lite so it's basically slightly alcoholic badly flavored water.