We call it, The Aristocrats!

Better Nate than lever

A stick.

One baby nailed to ten trees.

And the penguin says, "Nah, that's just ice cream."

The Pope looks up and says, "You fuckers are my kind of people."

To get to the other side

The Aristocrats!

Orange you glad

Because the light was on.

Eric Clapton wouldn’t let his bag of cocaine fall out a window.

“Grandma… so that’s how you died…”

So the pharmacist says, "I've got just the thing to stop that coffin!"

You're a real mean drunk, Superman.

punches you in the face

...you asked for a punchline, don't be mad at me

You got any more of those meat flavored pickles?

There was no punchline

He sh*t in my pants too!

Nah, that’s just ice cream.

It's the cobblestones.

So I thought to myself, is that how she died?

What are you crying about, I gotta walk out of here alone?

And thats why cornflakes are better than cheerios.

• overheard in the playground around 30 years ago and remains unexplained to this day. The kid would not repeat the joke for me. It remains the object of largest difference between importance and intrigue in my head.

It's not a bacon tree, it's a ham bush.

Because Nyquil stops the coffin'.

Wrecked him? Damn near killed him!

"Fuck you, Clown."

"He stands on a leaf and waits until Autumn." (Punchline to a joke I read in grade 3 from the 70's.)

I got bad news, you are out of paint and that's not a porch, it's a Mercedes.

one hatched and already stole a bike.

I feel like I need to qualify that I understand this is where I write the punchline to a joke, and that I am not accientally typing this into a search engine.

You take your foot off its head

Worst? They both come/cum on little white crackers. Wurst! I asked him to send me a link.

Isn’t it disgusting?

I have to walk out of here alone

None

DIE, HERETIC!