The "No Shit September" challenge!

Parttakers:

  • must refrain from shitting for a whole month (at least),
  • can take a single cheat day, when they can take a single shit,
  • must be extremely smug about taking the pledge,
  • must tell everyone they're taking part of it.

People who fail the challenge must change their profile pictures on all social media to the shitter wojak. Those who succeed can move onto the "No Oxigen October" and "No Nut (as in food) November challenges. The challenge is done in order to raise awareness of colon cancer.

To know more about how shitting is actually unnatural, bad for your health, was made up by plumbers to both control you and sell you toilets, all while shit retention is opening your shit chakra thus leading to you acquiring psychic capabilities please watch a Chinese doctor's YouTube video on the subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-cfWM0BC_4

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 77 points 1 month ago (5 children)

This reminds me of my high school days. In health class, we were taught that a healthy digestive system had at least one bowel movement per day. Throughout the course, we were also encouraged to promote generic healthy habits with our friends, family, and classmates; basically help each other stay accountable with their health and nutrition.

One of my friends took this to heart. He started going up to people - literally anyone - and asking in a concerned tone, "Did you poop today?"

If they gave any answer besides "yes," he would go off about all the health benefits associated with a daily bowel movement and what kinds of healthy foods and exercises would assist in having one. He would even offer to provide moral support from outside a bathroom stall if they needed it.

We all got a kick out of how deadpan and serious he played it. When the teacher asked him to knock it off, he insisted he was just concerned about promoting healthy habits, then would ask her if she had also pooped that day. To a room full of teenagers, there's nothing more hilarious than asking a teacher if she's pooped. No matter her response, the whole room was rolling in raucous laughter.

It's been over 20 years since then, and every time we meet in person, he still greets me with, "Did you poop today?"

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] [S] 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Does he work as a plumber today?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    He does not, sadly. He lived a pretty wild party life for many years that got him addicted to heavy drugs, and he became a gay prostitute for a while. He completely disappeared for a handful of years into some creepy sex cult and popped up again when he was rushed to the ER one day. Almost dying in a hospital was the wake-up call he needed.

    He's been through rehab and recovery and as far as I know, he's working a pretty normal office job now. I'm good friends with his family, so I see him every time he's passing through town. And he still asks me if I've pooped that day.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 38 points 1 month ago

    I thought this was in July.

  • source
  • [–] 29 points 1 month ago

    That reminds me of the post from (I think) three years ago where a guy asked what to do to not have to shit for a week or so. That was some quality content

  • source
  • [–] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Dear god, don't post this on Reddit. People will die.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 20 points 1 month ago (6 children)

    as someone with ibs that would be a dream

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Have you tried putting a cork in it?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] [S] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    That works, but the cork must be buttplug shaped.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    I'm afraid someone might take this shit seriously

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 14 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I think lemmy's apparent propensity for avoiding shitting is way funnier than whatever that bean business was. Why don't you just do that whenever there's too many politics in the shitpost community?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 11 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Oh this brings back unpleasant memories of my first month in military service in Germany 20 years ago... very, very unpleasant memories...

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago*

    I went to a youth meeting in the early 2000s… I don’t remember the exact numbers, but roughly 4k teenagers for two days with, I think, 8 toilets? In the middle of summer. The queues were insane. Everyone was trying to hold it as much as possible.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Okay, who’s nutting in food?

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    Sounds like a lot of people will be full of shit. Literally instead of just metaphorically...

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    Where's that post from the guy who was asking how to avoid shitting for days?

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    Well, fuck you, I'm three shits in before I even saw this post. Fuck you. Shit on you, in fact. Shit on all of you.

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I’m immensely disappointed that the link wasn’t a rick-roll.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    The link played a video for Domino's. It's like YouTube wants me to fail the challenge.

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    What if I sit on the toilet the cheat day and two shits come out? D:

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    Followed by colon cancer awareness October

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I have never been more right and yet so wrong about the contents of a link....

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    This is the ultimate shit post.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I know it's a joke, but technically possible on a water fast. I'm not recommending it, but not actually impossible.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    Awww yiss, opening and balancing my shit chakra as we speak.

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Hmm, is trying to curb shitting appropriate for the shitpost community?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • I completed a 5 day no shit music festival. Next time I'll just remember to bring paper.

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    The immense power of Shitckra is not for the masses!

  • source
  • load more comments
    view more: next ›