Anon doing volunteer work? Already a vastly different type from the wide sea of other Anons.

Wait there’s a specific Color to the outcome of 4chan texts?

I don't fear speaking with pretty girls because they're pretty girls. I just fear speaking with people because my history of being bullied and being betrayed by friends and being purposefully sabotaged by envious "friends" has made me fear most people. Likely being audhd doesn't help

We're not the same

So I decided I would approach girls same as I would a male peer and damn did that work!

Turns out the big secret to meeting people of the other gender is to focus on the "people" part.

"Female" is generally okay when used as a adjective (as you did here). It's when you're using it as a noun when talking about humans that you start sounding like a fedora tipping Ferengi.

You're also probably covered because your advice boils down to "treat people like people"

Protip: don't use of using an asterisks for footnotes. There is Markdown syntax for that:

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It gets rendered like this:

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Note that the footnotes don't have to be at the bottom of the comment. You an put each in a paragraph immediately after its usage, and the Markdown renderer will still put them at the bottom.

30 is the narrative online where you're pretty much 100 years old. They're convinced once you hit 30 you might as well be her grandpa. The manosphere propaganda feeds off ageism insecurity.

Lack of confidence will do some fucked up things to your brain honestly

Yeah that’s crazy to think people in your HS cohort are too far in age to you to relate

When i read 30 i thought: oh no, he's talking up 17 year olds.

Unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to want to de-radicalize young men. They'll say stuff like "Why should we? They deserve to be miserable."

It kinda misunderstands the nature of radicalization, and how vulnerabilities and exploits manifest. It can even take on a tinge of victim-blaming, retroactively justifying mistreatment based on their reaction to it

One of the biggest problems is that, outside of early school, there's no real way to practice social interactions in a safe setting. The only real option is jumping straight in. If you're already slightly socially stunted, it can be very easy to mess it up. It only takes a couple of negative reactions to put someone off for a long time.

I almost fell into the same hole when I was younger. Thankfully I realised what was likely happening and worked on it. I'm still not good at cold approach social interactions, but I can at least now do it without screwing up catastrophically.

you realize that the inverse is also true.

a lot of people are radicalized because they say hi to people and get told off for their basic politeness/decency?

I'm repeatedly shocked at how hostile people are to me the past few years, in a way they never were previously in my entire life. And well, it's because they have been convinced that even when I pick up the wallet they dropped on the ground to give it back to them, I must be 'attacking' them. because they are indoctrinated that all men are evil nonsense.

and i imagine if I was younger I'd find these experiences a lot more damaging to my psyche, because I might not have ever known a time when being kind to a stranger was considered a threat, like I did when I was young.

As long as they don't mistake making a new friend with expectations of having a girlfriend. I've had plenty of guy "friendships" which I genuinely thought would last for years, but the moment they noticed I wasn't having sex with them they pulled away to never be heard of. It breaks your heart in a different way.

It's not necessarily true at all.

Volunteer work can be full of really shitty and awful people who justify their shittiness based of their 'good intentions'.

I have volunteered my entire life and seen many orgs fail/fall apart due to shitty people getting involved and cannibalizing the org for their own selfish ends, or wanting to turn it into a social club first and a volunteer org second/third.

It can be rewarding, but a lot of orgs are full of very catty insular people who don't want you to be part of their group unless you look/talk/walk like they do, and you tow whatever 'party' line they believe in, even if it's shitty.

Someone volunteering doesn't make them automatically a good or a nice person. That's the smokescreen shitty/selfish people use though to justify their crappy behaviour in these orgs.

Volunteer work backfires for a lot of people when they work at like food pantries though. You get a huge amount of entitled rude assholes and it can make you hate the public and/or the destitute