Typical hampter hijinks
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
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Can you imagine being the hamster?
Like you think you got some food or something for your nest, and you being it back, and suddenly this magic force attaches you to the cage.
I wonder if the hamster knew it the force came from the thing in it's mouth, or if it thought some unfathomable invisible being just reached out and stuck it there.
Fucking magnets.
Am physicist, unfathomable invisible being reaching out to attract random shit together is my best understanding of magnets anyway.
For anyone whose magnet related memories are not filled with various line illustrations of the forces, that's probably it.
And even though my head is full of those illustrations, I don't seem to understand how the iron fillings and ferrofluids make the shapes they do instead of just sticking to the magnet. And I am too lazy to do the maths to make myself understand.
Except that imagining fields (not forces, if I'm thinking of the same illustrations as you) as lines is very very far from how deep it goes. Throughout physics education, most ppl go through several iterations of thinking you finally understand magnetism, then realizing you really fucking don't, as it's more complicated than you were taught previously.
It would have helped if my E&M class had been more than triple integrals and geometry.
Idk - would it kill physics profs to graph shit in Desmos so you can visualize some of these fields? Or start with simple examples? I know how to do a partial fraction decomp, but if I’m spending all of my time on tedious algebra and then fuck up the integral in such a way that I accidentally made something that looks like what Papa Wolfram gives you when you ask him to integrate 1/(x^5 + 1) - then you don’t know if you did fuck up or not, because maybe there’s some trick or this has significance and blargggggh.
(You could get partial credit on tests in quantum by explaining that you knew your answer was incorrect because it was negative when it wasn’t supposed to be or vice versa - test average was usually about 11%.)
I wanted to become a physics teacher specifically, just because I hated the way I was taught physics so much. (I hate the way chemistry is taught too, but I also hate chemistry. Unfortunately, I’ve only got to teach physics as a sort of concessionary “elective” that they tossed SPED students and the basketball star in…)
imagining fields (not forces,
Yeah that thing. Except that they were dubbed "magnetic lines of force". Also, I remember it being separately explained that even though they were called that, they didn't represent the direction of force (of course not, or you'd not need the right-hand-rule and left-hand-rule).
Looking at the iron shavings though, it seemed more like low potential energy regions/ stable regions.
Also it give a feeling of being analogous to fringe patterns.
100% sure they used the hamster as a fridge magnet.
This is a much happier ending than I thought it would be at the beginning.
I thought the hamster was going to have been dead the whole time
this is honestly the best thing i've seen all day
"Homer, are you just holding onto the cans?" lmao
I wonder what went through the mind of that hamster as it sat there for 3 days with its face stuck to the wall. Like that would FUCK UP a human. We made a whole damn movie about the guy who got his hand trapped under a rock that one time.
Ez, it's obviously fake (the hamster would try to move & it's not like you don't notice a magnet stuck to a cage either) but a funny fantasy story, sort of an early boomer-humour.
Considering the little girl brought it in, it's definitely more plausible she wouldn't notice the magnet. And considering the amount of parents who give hamsters as pets and never take any responsibility over it themselves, even more so.
But I'd also assume, with no real insight into the behavior of hamsters, that one in this situation would wind up either tearing it's cheek off (depending on the strength of the magnet) or figuring out it can dislodge / move enough to free it.
A magnet that was strong enough to keep the hamster in place would be applying enough pressure to the flesh between the magnet and cage to destroy the tissue, due to lack of circulation, over 3 days.
If this was even remotely true the hamster would be seriously injured and severely dehydrated, not walking around normally. This isn't even considering the damage that it would do to itself while trying to escape.
It's a fake story
How many magnets you think there are that would just be lying under a fridge not stuck to anything, but small enough to fit in a hamsters mouth and powerful enough to hold a hamster in place without even getting to directly contact metal. Let alone that like 99% of hamster cages are plastic.
Two under my fridgs. Fell off memory piece.
I would assume one would go full speed on the hamster wheel, now with the magnet behaving like a dynamo, & generate so much electricity it would electrocute the family.
The hamster ofc wouldn't stop running & over the next few days build up so much energy it would successfully super sayan way past level 9000 and start moving from world to world just destroying planets for fun.
The safest way to do it would be making a segmented enclosure: night cage with a comfortable resting area and one for use during the day with the wheel and magnet. Also change out the hamster for a ferret. This way, any hazardous charge that builds up will be contained within the ferret day cage.
And the name of that hamster? Pikachu.
Tragically flawed, but still a beautiful story.
HOWEVER, this has inspired me to build a hamster wheel with PEMs around its circumference and surrounded by stator windings so I can get my hamster to charge a battery. I mean, if I had a hamster, I would definitely make this a weekend project. Or I'd at least search for this on YouTube to see who else has already done it with cute results.
Yeah, right. Nothing ever happens.
No you wanna know how fucked up a human can get:
Frank Herbert wrote an entire series of novels about a guy who put his finger in a box and was told "An animal caught in a trap will gnaw its leg off to survive." Then the dude goes on to cause 66 billion deaths and have a son that lives for 7500 years as a giant worm/human hybrid
What, no hamster?
Fuck me, y'all believe anything. Ever seen a trapped rodent?! Think it just sat there and said, "Oh well. This is my life now."?
The hamster just sitting there doesn’t surprise me. The thing that I question is whether they picked him up at all to try and feed him or see if he was okay. Because surely if they picked him up then he would’ve perked up and moved around? Or at least moved and ate a bit?
Me and my brother had a trio of gerbils. One of them died from depression. He was in the same cage as the others, he was treated with love like the others, he just stopped eating and died.
The other two didn’t give a single fuck.
Some of the smartest people on earth see the bad side and no course correction for humanity, so they end it.
Aren't there whole studies on how they'll do exactly that?
Hamptor.
Im surprised this lil idiot survived that long.
Things that never happened
My wife is a vet technician at an ER hospital. Her stories range from hilarious to heartbreaking. Glad this one had a happy ending.