Don't forget the chronic depression, crippling trust issues, and being perpetually single due to said trust issues...

Don't need to read the article. Got shit from my father for using rivets when I should've used screws on my car. "Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?" he said. No shit cunt, YOU didn't.

This is garbage.

I'll skip you a read, the article does not present data to support any of the statements in the title. Nor in the subtitle. It does however present multiple ads and popups.

This is your friendly neighborhood ego-appealing only-10%-higher-iq-can-solve-this-game article with "research" from psychologytoday, autocitation, and articles that do not even discuss what is being stated. This writing style underscores how the usage of AI to create engaging articles and foster a diverse community- what I mean is that thing is either written with AI intervention or by someone who reads them so much that they write like them.

Mental health is a real issue, that should be handled with real information, not this kind of fanfiction.

Have you ever met someone who can fix anything, figure out anything, handle any crisis with calm precision, and yet flinches when someone offers to help them? Have you ever wondered why the most capable person in the room is also the one who seems least comfortable receiving care?

I have. Because for a long time, I was that person.

I'm sure this would make a nice action movie introduction.

Separating competence from identity. You are not your ability to handle things alone. That ability is a nervous system adaptation, and a useful one. But it’s a tool, not a definition. You’re allowed to set it down.

Also comes with crunchy bits of quantum neural vibrations.

I'm not going to comment everything, but this is garbage.

Can confirm.

Protip to not become a resentful adult: Vent and vent often. Keeping that shit bottled up is the starting breeding ground for most of today's personality disorders.

Quiet resentment eventually begets external aggression.

Children who grew up

We're not all resentful, we just hate the people who refuse to advance themselves and adhere to some level of learned helplessness as their nominal state

I'm married to someone who had to be the adult and take care of her family (siblings and mother) starting age 11.

My wife is unstoppable. But she expects adults to be adults, because she had to figure out how to be one by herself. And that's where the resentment comes in.

Add undiagnosed ADHD and ASD to that and you've got a great recipe for life full of struggle, anxiety, identity issues, bonding issues, the list goes on. You keep wondering how everyone else is so cheerful with everything that's going on within your own life. Not to say you can't escape it, but it is lifelong hard work.

The ones who succeed maybe, plenty of people are broken or malformed by the experience. A child raising itself, especially in poverty or resource scarce environments, will make many harmful mistakes that hinder them their entire life.

I remember being a child and finding a book called "How To Do Nothing With No One All alone By Yourself."

I enjoyed the book, but wondered about the people who would need that book.

https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-do-nothing-with-nobody-all-alone-by-yourself-a-timeless-activity-guide-to-self-reliant-play-and-joyful-solitude-robert-paul-smith/fdef205eb5d3a604?ean=9781941040652&next=t

Was latchkey kid with add. I only move in predicability. Work, relationships friendships all work because I can predict their behavior.

And hilariously enough I've gravitated into being a Dominant in a D/s relationship. Because if you can control it, you can predict it. (It's consensual)

Also... Therapy kept me from being resentful.

Please don’t @ me like that.

Emancipated at 16. Had to take my younger brother with me. I am so much better for it but it was a massive struggle.

lemmy users are a collection of high iq free thinking individuals who are extraordinarily competent.

often becomes adults who are extraordinarily competent

yeah... about that...

(still financially dependent (and emotionally attached to my mother since I never felt confident to explore the world on my own and make friends))

As for the resentment...

You have no idea how much I just hate my birth country.

I have this fantasy of having a perfect relationship with my mother but its this stupid ass ultra-conservative culture that destroyed that could've been.

Every time I my mom yells at me... every time I have conflict with family... I just can't stop thinking: I fucking hate China, fucking toxic culture

I kinda feel like all this shame of my depression is like the spirits of my ancestors taunting me, calling me a coward for not being able to just "be strong" or whatever the fuck that means... so I just hate that country as a proxy to hating my parents... whom I don't really want to hate... so I blame the culture, the country instead... the toxic culture robbed me of my relationship with my family of origin...

And for that, I will forever hate China... I never wanna re-visit that place ever again...

Who the fuck even wanna deal with the firewall bullshit and censorship on top of it? Jeez... I rather face my risks in the US of ICE or whatever, at least if I get shot by ICE, I would actually get sympathy... in China, they'd call me a lazy loser and totally ignore the existence of depression... and at least I could binge watch youtube in the US... China has zero media and is boring af... idk how people even survive the boredom...

Fuck CCP, Fuck Confucious, Fuck "Filial Piety"

/end rant

Compentent? Maybe. Resentful, yeah I'm working on it okay.

Also, often while you were teaching us, we learned leasons that were not part of your teaching plan.

Can you please not write/post articles about me? I'm feeling targeted.

Not me being constantly told that I lack common sense when the reason why I'm being told those things is that I believe that people have value and should be treated with kindness by default, or that things can get better.

If your common sense does not include those things, I don't want to have anything to do with it.

Stop seeing me

I have been asked on more than one occasion by folks who have heard enough of my story to know what I’ve come through how I managed to come through it, and my response is steadfastly: “Because I had to.”

There’s no great secret. No deep well of reserves. You just keep going.
It’s not exactly healthy, nor does it make one the most happy person. You unlearn what you can, when you can, or try to, anyway.

Most useful stuff I know if because of the internet, so it's pretty goated for that. No squeaky doors in my house, you fuckass hinges, wikihow gave me a hammer and y'all are just puny nails /s

Schools should just expand the stuff they teach imo, for cases like that, because im pretty sure there will be a lot more kids just like them

Even worse is when adults actively deny teaching you something basic like washing clothes or cooking food, always saying "Leave it to me". I am very resentful of that

Your enviroment is the issue. Change the enviroment change the person. If you are feeling a little edgy work on your great escape. Money sucks but keep your eyes peeled and take it. I got detangled before and escaped traps... I can do it again. They say you can't but you can. They are all phoneys

I'm not really resentful bacause of that. I just have fond memories of learning alone. It was lonely trying to relate with others what I was doing with my day, but it didn't stop it from being fun.