I know that tone of "Let's talk."

Kid, if anything ever goes wrong that requires intelligence, you are now in a very short of list of kids to blame first.

From the last answer, it sounds like they would only need to turn in their SIM card.

What is your favorite brand of air fryer? It has come to my attention that air fryer's brought to school may be liable for confiscation. Regardless, how are you doing on this fine October morning?

I haven't been to school in a while, but we had smartphones when I did. And if we took up our phones in class we got called out by the teacher.

My kids school “boxes” phones if you’re caught using them or they interrupt class. They lock them inside a clear plastic case and let you carry that.

This avoids liability because the kid still has possession of their phone and can still see an emergency text or call. The can’t interact with the phone but can get a teacher to unlock if there’s a visible emergency text

“It’s fine if it’s in a bag and off or silent” has been cell phone policy in my experience (decades ago).

and is probably prone to cat in the middle attacks ..

And high packet loss.

You know, pigeons probably do have relatively high latency but I bet a carrier pigeon could carry at least three SD cards, meaning a pigeon has hella bandwidth.

This is why you have to factor in the airspeed velocity of your laiden and unlaiden swallows pigeons.